The postman rings the bell at the Hardcastle home and Jean answers it. He hands her a stack of mail along with a parcel, for which she has to sign. He seems preoccupied and looks off to his right. Jean just stands there because both hands are full. "The thing is..." she starts to say and he apologizes and takes the stack of mail to hold it for her. She asks if he has a form. He clumsily reaches to get the form and gives back a stack for her to hold while he finds it. He puts the form on the parcel and awkwardly takes back the stack. She asks him for a pen. He gives the stack back to her and then finds a pen and puts it in his mouth so that he can try to manage holding the stack he just got from her. It is quite an awkward exchange, but eventually the form gets signed and the mail is delivered. 
He observes that the house next door is still up for sale and wonders how long it has been on the market. Jean tells him it has been ages and jokes that that is probably because they have the plague in their house. He mentions that coincidentally, just as they are speaking about this, up pops the estate agent. Sure enough a family of four is seen walking up the stairs. Jean comments on the coincidence and the postman claims that this is no coincidence at all -- it's more than that because he often finds that paranormal things happen whenever he is around.
When Jean comes into the kitchen, Lionel is frustrated because some of the pages of his newspaper are stuck together. She tells him that Postman Pat has just been there. He tells her that someone has been at his newspaper and there is marmalade on it. She thinks it is "only a dab" and he should try to wash it off.
She mentions the postman's "paranormal" remark and Lionel speculates that what he means when he says that is that he delivers the right mail to the right house. She picks up the parcel, announces that it is for Sandy and starts to shake it. Lionel reminds her that it is addressed to Sandy. She puts it back down on the table and tells Lionel she feels like going for a little walk and walks out. Lionel takes a rag and tries to wipe the marmalade off his paper. Then he tries to turn the page and rips the paper.
Jean is sort of skipping down the street, bending every few steps to see what she can see. She passes the house next door, spins and starts walking back. She stops just outside the gate and 
leaps into the air to see if she can get a better view. She leaps again. The estate agent and his clients walk out the front door and catch her in the middle of all this leaping and stare at her. She grins at them and says "good morning". She continues to leap, pretending, apparently, that whatever it is that she is doing is rather normal and has nothing to do with them. She turns and continues to jump every step or two. There are two children, the younger of which can't hold back her laughter.
Lionel is surprised that Jean is back so quickly and comments on it, saying that for that little walk she didn't even have to leave the house, but could have just walked up and down the hall. She casually mentions that some people were looking at the house next door. Suddenly, even though she claims that the two events were completely unrelated, he understands the nature of this little walk of hers. She starts to tell him about the family that is considering the house, but Lionel is clearly not interested in speculation, saying that when someone actually buys that house they will find out what they are like.
She asks if there is any mail for her and is surprised to see a postcard. Lionel doesn't know who it is from because it is addressed to her and he claims not to have read it because it might have been private. 
She wonders who would write something private on the back of a postcard and who would write anything private to her in the first place. The card is from Penny and Stephen. They are returning from their vacation in Spain and want to stop and stay overnight with them on their way back. They will be arriving the next day. Lionel figures that the weekend is shot. Too bad they didn't get the post earlier, Jean says. They could have arranged to be away. She reads on: "we've got a lovely..." Lionel finishes the sentence -- "bunch of coconuts?" No, she just looks at him, what was written was that they have a lovely surprise. She asks Lionel if she is mean-spirited because she feels apprehensive about this. Lionel thinks it does, but adds that that "makes two of us."
Judy and Sandy are clearly not pleased about the fact that Stephen and Penny are coming. It is a Friday night and they are just getting home from work and Judy looked forward to the weekend. Jean tells them it is not the end of the earth. Sandy quickly says that actually she and Judy planned to be out all day tomorrow, but it is quickly exposed as a lie when Jean asks where they are going and they look helplessly at one another and give different answers at the same time. Jean gives them an "I caught you" look and follows that with even more bad news -- namely, that Penny and Stephen will be staying overnight. 
Penny and Stephen will sleep in Jean's room, Judith can stay in Sandy's room and Jean and Lionel will sleep in Judith's room. Sandy suggests they get a sofa bed, but Jean doesn't think that they will make a habit of staying over. Jean tells Sandy that there is a parcel for her. Sandy lifts it up, says "oh, yes" and starts to walk away with it. Jeans asks if Sandy is going to open it and is obviously quite disappointed and curious when Sandy tells she'll do it later. Lionel walks in and asks if Jean told the girls about the surprise that Penny said she had for them. "What surprise?" a very wide-eyed Judith wonders. Jean tells her that she has no idea. Both Judith and Sandy look apprehensive. Lionel observes that "that makes all four of us mean-sprited."
The doorbell rings and as Jean and Lionel walk down the hall to answer it, Lionel says he'll be good, but that if Penny produces holiday snapshots he might doze off. She says he wouldn't dare. Jean opens the door. Penny stands there in a gaucho hat, whips her scarf around her neck and says "Hola!" Jean asks if she had a good holiday. It was fantastic, she says, and then stops in her tracks for the obligatory "Poor Jean". This time she tells Jean that her eyes look rather drawn. Jean is used to it by now. 
Penny asks how Lionel is and he claims to be rather drawn about the eyes as well. Jean shouts to the girls that Penny and Stephen are there. Lionel says he is going to give Stephen a hand with the cases and he walks towards the door, but Stephen walks in. The girls walk down the stairs and greet Stephen. He gives each of them a big hug and kiss and tells them how pretty they look. Judith tells him that he is very kind to say that but just this once she thinks he should not go on about it when Penny is within earshot. This goes right over his head and he says "whyever not?" and starts walking into the living room to ask Penny if she minds his referring to the girls as pretty.
Sandy says "that man"s got a death wish."
It is later that same day. Penny is busy showing everyone pictures of the trip and it is quite obvious that she has been at it for some time. Stephen is half asleep, Lionel appears to be fully asleep and Judith isn't very wide-awake. 
Sandy nudges Lionel as she passes a picture to him. Penny is explaining "this is me by a fountain..." and "this is me again by the same fountain from a different angle." She pokes Stephen to ask where the statue is that she was standing next to in a picture. Stephen can't remember for sure because they saw quite a lot of statues. Penny settles for this is "me by a statue." It was almost always Penny standing next to something. When she ran across a picture of Stephen it was easily and quickly dismissed. Throughout the description she peppers her conversation with Spanish words that make her appear to be even more affected than she normally is. She says she was doing the Flamenco and says "Olé". 
Judith observes that her Spanish is quiet fluent. If there was any sarcasm connected with that remark it was totally lost on Penny -- "Poco" she says. Penny shows another photograph or two and then slaps both her knees and says "that's the lot." They all pretend to be disappointed. Suddenly Penny remembers that there should be another wallet of photographs around there somewhere. She starts to look around and Jean spots them. Before Penny can notice, Jean shoves them into a bag on the floor. Penny says she will send them all copies of the photographs and starts to put the others back in the bag when she notices the "missing" wallet. "I knew there were some more," she announces.
Penny obviously has intentions of showing these photos too, but Judith gets up and tells everyone she'd better start supper. Sandy also gets up. Penny tells them it is only five o'clock, but Judith claims that it is a complicated recipe. Jean reminds Penny that she had said she had a surprise. As she says that, Penny leans back on the couch with her face pointing upwards and her hands covering her head. Jean doesn't understand what just happened and asks Penny if she is miming something. 
Penny says she's rather tired after dealing with the luggage and going through customs and would like to snatch a siesta before supper. Jean asks again about the surprise. Penny tells her that she and Stephen are thinking of living in Spain. They found their dream house. She asks Stephen to take care of the bags and he, of course, jumps to do it. "More anon," she says and walks out of the living room. There is joy in the faces of everyone at the thought that Stephen and Penny might be leaving permanently. "Yessssss!" says Sandy. Jean tells them it doesn't matter why they are doing it, they should just be happy. Lionel rubs his abdomen and says "it starts as a warm glow right here." Jean tells the girls they could start dinner. Judith says she only said that in order to get out of the room. Jean thinks the way to look at it is this: the sooner they eat, the sooner they can suggest they go to bed early.
Jean reminds Sandy that she hasn't opened her package. 
Sandy answers that it is okay because she knows what's in it and completely frustrates the curious Jean. She thinks there ought to be more to it. She says, her voice rising, to show that her sentence has not yet been completed: "a?" Lionel is confused -- he has no idea what Jean is talking about. She says no-one ever ends a sentence the way Sandy just did. They say "I know what's in it: a ________ or some _______." She swings her hand up and outward to show that at least one more word is expected. Lionel suggests that they have a drink.
Stephen walks into the living room complaining about the two-way mirrors that they have at the airport in customs. You go thru customs knowing that they are spying on you looking for guilty expressions and then, before you know it, you've got a guilty expression. Jean wonders if he was, perhaps, pulled in. 
He wasn't. Lionel offers him a drink, which he accepts and Jean asks what the dream house is like. It was very lovely, on a hillside overlooking the harbor -- beautiful terrace, swimming pool, a lot of land. "And it's for sale?" Jean marvels. "Oh, no -- not as far as I know," Stephen stuns them by saying. Jean reminds him that Penny told them they saw their dream house. Stephen thinks it would have been better had she said a dream house -- she'd like to build one like it. A disappointed Jean almost squeals when she says "build?" Stephen assures her that she will not actually build it by herself. Jean notes that this could take ages. Stephen acknowledges that, by saying "it's all mañana over there." He adds that in England, they say "straightaway" and mean the same thing. Jean and Lionel appear to be crestfallen.
Meanwhile, as they fix supper in the kitchen, Sandy wonders aloud how much dentists get paid. Judith has no idea. It seems strange to her that Stephen can afford to buy a mansion in Spain. 
Judith speculates that perhaps he whips out a few of those gold fillings while his patients are out cold. Sandy thinks he isn't the type. Jean walks into the room to see how the girls are getting on and says that Stephen is talking about two-way mirrors. Sandy wonders if this is a "Stephen we don't know about." Judy asks if there was any more said about the dream house in Spain. Jean mentions what Stephen had said and added that he's not going to buy it, he is going to build one like it. The girls are surprised. She, too, wonders how much dentists get paid. Sandy figures it must come to something like 1000 pounds a tooth if he is able to afford a mansion like that. Well, Judy says, it isn't really any of their business. Jean agrees -- and then suggests they steer the conversation round to the price of the house after dinner.
After dinner everyone goes into the sitting room for coffee. Stephen is just happy to get some English food in him again, Penny claims to miss the paella. Stephen says he doesn't know why, she had diarrhea for three days after the first one. She wishes he would not use that word. He doesn't seem to understand -- it's what it's called, he says. 
Jean changes the subject by asking what kind of dishwasher they will have in Spain. Penny is puzzled by the question. She admits that she has not thought that far ahead. But she may leave the choice to their servadora. Judith points out that that means "servant." Penny did not know that Judy knew Spanish, but she says she does -- just a little. "A servant?" Sandy repeats, surprised. In the middle of this, Steven blurts out that he always fancied learning Hungarian. Jean asks him why and he tells her that he really doesn't know. Penny thinks that even though a knowledge of Hungarian won't do him much good in Spain he can still take it up as a hobby because he is retiring.
Lionel has the good fortune of walking into the sitting room just at this point in the conversation. Jean says to him "Stephen is retiring" and Lionel says "Goodnight Stephen." From the look on Jean's face he realizes that he misunderstood and comments that it seems a bit early for Stephen to retire. Stephen explains that you get to the point where you never want to look at anyone's teeth ever again. Lionel refers to this condition as having "Tooth Fatigue." Stephen seems to find that amusing. Penny just changes the subject and says she supposes that Judith knows the Spanish word for gardener, but Judy doesn't. "Well we shall be having one of those as well," Penny tells her. Judith asks "What is the Spanish word for gardener?" Penny says "probably two." Stephen, lost in thought, wonders what the Hungarian word for two is. Penny shakes her head and tells him "Oh, Stephen, nobody knows." Lionel suggests that a Hungarian would. Jean looks annoyed with him and tells him to stick to the subject, which is Penny and Stephen's house in Spain. Sandy thinks it is beginning to sound more and more like an estate. Penny at first says she wouldn't go so far as that, but reconsiders -- "perhaps a little one."
Jean feels the conversation is steering away from the cost of the house and looks at the girls and nods towards Stephen, hoping they will get back on track. Sandy begins the sentence: "I hate to be nosy, but..." In the middle of that sentence Penny interrupts her by saying to Judith that she hopes she knows that the Spanish word for Fiesta is actually Fiesta. She appears to be quite proud of having made that observation. Penny asks Sandy what she hates about being nosy and Sandy says "just about everything, really." Stephen says "...and then there's Armenian..." Lionel asks if that is another language he'd like to learn. Stephen tells him no, that he was justing thinking about how many languages there are. 
Judith asks if they will be getting a swimming pool. Jean muses: a swimming pool, servants, gardeners.... Lionel finally sees what they are getting at. "Where do you find all the money for this?" he sort of blurts out. Jean looks horrified and says that that is none of their business. Lionel looks stunned since he was sure this was information Jean wanted to know about. Penny's jaw drops and agrees that this is private, but she supposes there is no harm in telling that it is all due to Stephen's pension plan. Stephen attributes that all to Penny because she insisted that something be set up the minute they got married. He adds that he has had her tasting his food ever since.
Lionel and Jean are spending an uncomfortable night in Judith's small bed. She asks if he can move over. He can, he says, if she wants him to fall out of bed. There is a lot of kicking and Lionel tells her that it is no good wiggling for space because there just isn't any. He questions her sense of honor. She observes that he was very quiet that evening. He says it was because he started to think about the fact that he doesn't have a pension plan. 
She says that she has one. He thinks she sounds smug when she says that. She's had hers for years and reminds him that "what's mine is yours." He wonders what will happen when he goes mad. He assures her that he is not planning to go mad, but it does happen. She asks him how many mad people he actually knows. He knows some "funny" people and reminds her that those homes are not cheap, but who knows what he'd get up to if she kept him in the house. Jean observes that as flights of fancy go, this is not a very cheerful one. He worries that if lack of money forces her to keep him at home she probably would not be able to invite anyone over. She tells him to stop it. He doesn't have very much -- just the money from the sale of the flat and the royalties from the book. He never thought that the day would come when Penny was cleverer than he. 
Time just sort of rushes up on you.... He says at least Jean will be alright. She repeats that they well both be alright. "Provided I don't go funny, he says. She offers to just keep him in a dog kennel in the cellar. He accuses her of not taking this seriously. After all, she says, they started talking about a pension plan and all of a sudden he is going mad. He confesses this might be a bit excessive, but he can't help wondering what he is contributing to their future. "You!" she answers. She finally tells him to go to sleep and he says he will try. One more thing -- if he does go mad during the night he should do it quietly because he knows how hysterical Penny can get.
Judy comes down the stairs and sees Penny getting ready to go out. 
She asks if Penny is leaving Stephen behind and the ever pretentious Penny tells her that no, she's just going for a little walk or paseo as we say. The doorbell rings and Penny opens it for Alistair who says "hey hey, Penny." She mispronounces "buenas dias" to which he answers "salud." That's not Spanish, she tells him. "What was yours?" he asks. She looks a little insulted and says Spanish. He says "bona fortuna" and asks if he can come in. Lionel walks thru the hallway and Alistair asks if the "delicious Sandy" is around. 
This puzzles Penny and she asks Alistair if he actually meant to say Judith. He confirms that it is Sandy he is looking for. Lionel asks Alistair if he could have a few words with him in the sitting room and they head for the door. Penny asks if there is something she should know about. Lionel peers around the corner and smiles at her and says no.
Lionel tells Alistair he needs some advice. Alistair is "honored" and wants to know what's wrong. Lionel says that he needs some money. 
Without batting an eye, Alistair reaches for his checkbook. Lionel tells him that's not what he means. He needs to make some money. "Oh, I see," he says and Lionel feels that there is a distinct lack of confidence in that response. Alistair explains that there is simply not a big demand for My Life in Kenya. Lionel wonders what the chances are of his getting back on the lecture circuit. Alistair hesitates and scratches his chin. Lionel answers for him: None -- he can tell by the expression on Alistair's face. Alistair really wants to work out a way. He tells Lionel not to give up. He thinks, he paces -- he asks Lionel "Can you sing?" Lionel tells him that he can't sing and asks what Alistair is talking about. The answer is a CD -- "Songs of Kenya, by Lionel Hardcastle" -- a bit wild isn't it? "Just slightly," says Lionel. Alistair suggests he write another book. "My life in Holland Park?" Lionel figures he's barking up the wrong tree and tells Alistair to just forget it. Alistair, as always, wants to think of something. He asks, guy to guy, why there is this sudden need for bucks. Lionel tells him he doesn't have a pension plan. Alistair does not wish to insult him, but feels it might be a bit late in life to start one. "Jean's had one for years," Lionel tells him. Alistair thinks that's great -- it is money in the kitty. When Lionel tries to protest, Alistair stops him by pointing out that "the lady loves you -- it's her right to share." This seems to give Lionel pause. Alistair continues: "Just as if I'm with a lady who insists on continually taking her clothes off -- it's her right to do it." Lionel points out that it really isn't the same thing and Alistair sadly has to agree.
Jean is pouring some coffee for Stephen in the kitchen. 
He has just finished breakfast and says that after all those Spanish breakfasts this was ambrosia. Jean insists it was just a fryup, but "I don't think a man really feels a man until he's got some bacon inside him, do you?" he asks. She tells him she'll have to think about that. Jean says that it looks like rain to which Stephen replies "there's nothing like English rain." Lionel walks in the door and sits down across from Stephen. Sandy pops in and asks if they'll still be there when she comes back. He tells her that he and Penny hoped to treat everyone to a pub lunch. She leaves. Stephen begins to muse again. "...then there's Hampshire rain." Jean and Lionel look at one another and roll their eyes. Stephen leaps to another subject: he thinks the Spanish are tempramentally unsuited to play cricket. "Maybe they just think it's a silly game," Jean jokes, but she backs off when she notices the hurt look on Stephen's face. "No-one could think that -- clunk." Jean repeats, questioningly, "clunk?" Yes, that's the sound of willow on leather. 
He thinks about it. "Clunk" wasn't very good, he guesses, and wonders if "boink" might be nearer to the sound. Lionel thought "clunk" was quite good. Again Stephen begins to muse -- this time about how much he loves British cricket. He and Pen would go to a game very often on a Sunday afternoon. It is the only time he ever gets to wear his panama. Jean is surprised that Penny likes cricket, but Stephen says she really doesn't -- she often nods off during a game. But Stephen loves those afternoons with the sun shining and the grass -- that very particular English green, a cup of tea and a scone -- and "clunk" of course. "God, it's good to be home!" he says. Lionel and Jean look at one another. Stephen wonders why. Well, Jean tells him, for someone who has chosen to live in Spain, all he is doing in sitting there in the kitchen rhapsodizing about England. Stephen tells them that they aren't going to Spain. Jean is shocked and wonders if he has told this to Penny? No, he says. Lionel asks if he thinks she should be told. Jean wonders if he is going to tell her at the point when she is actually packing her suitcase. Stephen explains that he knows Penny and he knows that she will come to the same conclusion about this that he did. This is just an idea she got in her head and then "pop" -- before you know it, it's gone. Like with the Ouija Board, when she decided to investigate the Occult -- they had two goes at it and the nearest she got to a message was "black like Nixto" -- and then that was that. He feels it is kinder not to tell Penny. He is sure that they never could have made it work -- they never could have afforded the kind of place Penny was talking about.
The pension plan was certainly comforting, but all those acres and servants it is not. Jean looks at him and says that she is glad he's not going. Lionel says nothing so Jean motions with her head that he should say the same thing. He does and says that things just wouldn't be the same without he and Penny around. Stephen says that they will be around a lot more now that he's retiring. Jean and Lionel look at one another helplessly.
Everyone is in the hallway preparing to leave for that pub lunch, but Penny is the last one down the stairs. Stephen tells her to hurry and she wishes he wouldn't bellow at her when she's on the loo. He reminds her it is not the sort of thing he does on a regular basis. Incidentally, she says to Jean, she noticed that the house next door is up for sale again. Jean assures her it will go quickly. "Makes you think though," Penny tells her. House like that, in London, next to our dearest friends -- she puts one hand on Jean's shoulder, the other on Lionel's and says "and we can afford it now." They look at one another. Penny opens the door and leads everyone down the stairs and out into the street.
As they all walk out Penny comments on the fact that Jean and Lionel had to sleep in the small bed.
They say that it was very cozy. Stephen asks about Sandy and Judith and they say they were okay, but a bit squashed. "A bit squashed?" Alistair asks. Sandy tells him to keep walking and points out that "he's glazing over, again." As everyone continues to walk, Jean holds Lionel back. He wants to know why. She asks if Lionel thinks they might really buy that house. "Let's hope it's another Ouija Board," he tells her.
Jean takes another glance at the house and sees a man putting a "sold" sign over the "for sale" sign. She stops Lionel and tells him to look.
"There is a God," Lionel says. He wants to keep walking because they are getting left behind, but Jean tells him to wait. The same family she had seen earlier begins to walk up the stairs. Jean calls to them "Good Morning." They stare at her, the same way they did earlier. "What nice people!" Jean says. The man shakes his head and puts the key in the door. Jean and Lionel walk off arm in arm.