"Damn and blast!" Lionel says to the computer. When Jean asks if he needs anything, he sweetly tells her that he can manage. Obviously he can't. He actually begins talking to the printer paper -- "I know you're in there, will you come out?" he bellows. 
Judith and Jean are watching TV in the sitting room and discussing the storyline of one of the programs they've obviously watched before. It becomes apparent to them that Lionel is not going to solve his problem himself. Jean says "I just got comfortable." Judith doesn't sound particularly eager to help him and says to him with a bit of annoyance in her voice "What's the matter, Lionel?" He wonders who said anything was the matter. In light of this response Judith and Jean continue with their conversation. Even thought they completely ignore Lionel he feels the need to come clean and tell them it is the "stupid printer." Judy gets up and asks him what is wrong with the printer. Lionel says that is says it is not connected and won't print. Jean smirks and says it is a bit like Lionel at the moment.
Judy informs him he must first click onto the print icon, but he doesn't know where that is so she sighs and does it for him. Not even a second passes when Lionel tells her nothing is happening. She tells him to give it a minute. She goes back to the couch and resumes the conversation. Lionel is delighted to see that the printer begins doing its job. He says "It's working!" But they don't really care. He says it again and Jean answers with "Of course it's working" -- unimpressed and telling him that he really must come to grips with modern technology. He says that he used to be able to strip a Bren gun in 45 seconds. Judy points out that that is not exactly relevant. The TV program ends and Jean shuts it off with the remote, pronouncing it "absolute rubbish, but good though." It was not, however, nearly as good as watching Lionel struggle with technology. She asks what he's doing and he tells her that he's just working with some figures. She believes he would have been better off had he simply jotted these figures down, but he claims that printed figures always seem to him to be more formal and definite.
Judith is tired and says she is going to bed. Jean asks where Sandy is and is told that Alistair was taking her to a "glitzy do" that evening. Sandy is in need of pampering at the moment and Alistair is an arch pamperer and it is all just fine by her. She says goodnight to Jean and says "'night, Lionel, you old Bren gunner." Lionel seems to be ready to go to bed -- he is tired as well, as is Jean. He wonders if it really is alright. "What? Our sleeping together?" Jean asks. She is sure it is because the are married. He ignores that and continues with his thought. This business of Alistair going out with Sandy worries him. He knows Judy keep saying it is fine by her, but he wonders if she is just saying that. "They're funny things, women," he observes. Jean doesn't disagree.
Sandy is lying in bed possibly without any clothes on and Alistair, in his robe, is standing at the foot of the bed. He tells her that he doesn't want her to feel uncomfortable about her staying over. She assures him that she is not -- she did have an awful lot to drink. He tells her that these guild dinners are like that. "Well they were vintners," she reasons. She thanks him for a nice evening and he says no, thank you -- with her in that dress -- he nods towards the dress on the chair and says "Woof! Talk about vintner's corks popping." 
She moans when she remembers the dress because she should have hung it up. Alistair stands back and folds his arms saying that he should let her. But, he concludes that he is still one of the white hat guys and he will do it for her. He asks if he should get a pair of pajamas for her, but she says no. She is surprised he doesn't have a wardrobe full of guest nighties. He tells her his guests don't need nighties but she reminds him that he just now offered her a pair of pajamas. He claims that is different because "you're Sandy." She wonders if that means she's a pajamas sort of a girl, but he tells her that she could drive a man wild wearing only a dustbin liner [a garbage bag]. She trusts he means a designer dustbin liner. "Naturally," he says. 
He rubs his hands together and asks if she's tired. She is fairly tired, she tells him. He says, okay, point taken, understood, and starts backing away towards the door. "Sleep tight," he tells her and closes the door. She looks somewhat puzzled but lies down. There is a knock on the door and Alistair comes back. Sandy looks as though she expected him to do just that. "Just one thing," he says. She smiles. He asks whether she wants tea or coffee in the morning. She answers him and when he leaves, she shrugs her shoulders, says "hmmm" and turns off the light.
Jean walks into the sitting room with the coffee and she sees Lionel at the computer. She asks if he is going to start abusing that machine again and he says he is just going to check his figures. He says, softly, that he is hardly earning anything.
She asks if this is all about everyone else in the world but him having a pension plan. She tells him that they have been through all this and it really doesn't matter because they are alright. Judy comes in and asks if Sandy has gone out and Jean says that she hasn't come in yet. Lionel naively speculates that she may have "spent the night with friends." Judy and her mother exchange glances and Judith changes the subject -- she tells Lionel that the computer will not work unless he switches it on but he claims not to want it to work -- he just wants to look at some figures. 
Judy asks him why he has this sudden obsession with money. He seems surprised by the question and asks her who mentioned money. Jean tells him that the two of them do talk together. Judy assures him that "we're family" and she is not just trying to get the latest gossip. Jean asks him to come and get his coffee and Lionel notes that if he had stayed in Kenya planting coffee they would be quite well off. Jean points out that she didn't know him when he was in Kenya. She just wishes he would stop going on about it. He complains that in a couple of years he will be a kept man. Jean says that if it makes him feel any better he can do all the housework. Judy goes to get more coffee. Lionel mentions that he thought Jean didn't like his doing the housework and Jean says that in the mood he's in, she assumes he'd be doing it in someone else's house.
Alistair and Sandy walk in the front door just as Judy is walking by with a cup of coffee and she says "Good Morning". There is a brief awkward moment and Alistair says "hey hey." Sandy excuses herself to get changed and Alistair tells her "if you need any help with zips or buttons or..." Judy grins at him.
"It is just something I say," he tells her. She remembers. She starts to go into the sitting room when he asks "How's Harry?" Judy is puzzled and Alistair tells her that Sandy mentioned Harry had taken her to the pictures the other night. She says, yes, he did. He repeats the question and Judith wonders if Alistair is inquiring about Harry's health or wanting to know if she is going out with him again. He asks which one she thinks it is. She tells him that Harry is very well, thank you and leads him into the sitting room.
Judith announces to Jean and Lionel that Sandy is now home. Alistair asks "am I being called before the head honchos?" Jean tells him that they are all grownups there. 
He declares that a wonderful thing. He refuses the coffee that Judith offers him because he has to leave for Athens on business. Alistair tells Lionel that he would like to have a word. Alistair appears to want some privacy, but it is clear that Lionel wants him to say what he has to say. At first, the best that Alistair can do is "ah." Lionel asks if that's it. He struggles for diplomatic words. Jean asks if he is looking for words that mean "clear off." Lionel wonders if this has anything to do with what they discussed when Stephen and Penny were there -- if so, it is okay to go ahead and talk in front of everyone because it is now in the public domain. Alistair asks "this is the conversation with the CD in it, right?" Lionel says that was part of it and explains that he asked Alistair if he had any bright ideas about his earning some money. Jean wonders if this is where the CD comes into it. 
Lionel keeps saying it is not important but Alistair says he had a wild idea that Lionel should come out with a CD entitled The Songs of Kenya. Jean looks totally startled at first and then has a terrible time trying to hold back her laughter. "With Lionel singing the songs?" Alistair says he told her it was a wild idea. Lionel goes him one further and pronounces it an insane idea. Judith is catching the laughter from Jean and can barely begin to speculate on what it would be like with Lionel making the video when she bursts into laughter. 
At that moment Sandy walks in and when she is told that Lionel is going to make a CD called Songs of Kenya she, joins in the laughter. "I am not. I am not," Lionel protests. He wants to continue with this conversation if only the three women would stop behaving like schoolgirls. Jean shushes the girls and Lionel says he knows it seems like it was a long time ago, but asks what Alistair was saying. Alistair points out that "the old bull silences the herd." Jean objects by saying they are not "the herd." Lionel tells him to just stick to the subject. Alistair says that the means for getting the money he needs is staring him right in the face: "the house in Hampshire -- sell it!" Everyone is stunned by this suggestion. No-one says a word. Alistair says he is open to hugs of congratulation. Lionel considers for a moment and says that this needs talking about. Sandy excuses herself, saying it is none of her business. Judith does the same. Alistair leaves to go to Athens, leaving Jean and Lionel to each other. Lionel assesses the situation: "That's one way to clear a room."
Jean starts to get up, saying that she has some washing to do, but Lionel asks her to stay and talk to him about this.
She tells him that it is okay to use her as a sounding board, but she does not want him to expect that she will come up with a quick opinion. Lionel says "fair enough." 
She offers "that's a good idea, though." She points out that they have to keep up the house for 365 days a year and they really don't use the house more than 30 or 40 days at the most -- it doesn't make sense economically. She concludes abruptly "Sell it." Lionel sarcastically tells her he is glad she didn't come up with a quick opinion. Jean still doesn't understand why he needs the money. He says he wants to be part of the economy -- part of her and the girls and the tiles on the roof. She wonders what is wrong with the tiles on the roof, but he tells her that it is only an example and he wants to be a part of it. 
Jean thinks that although she doesn't go along with the "herd" bit, she would have to say that Lionel is an old bull. "Call me old-fashioned," he says. Jean says she frequently does. He tells her he can't touch his toes any more. She just pretends she can, but never tries. He feels she has the right idea. She gets up to do that washing. She starts to walk away and then says "Oh, no." Lionel wonders if she is again out of washing soap. It isn't that, she explains -- Lionel is going to have to explain to Lol Ferris and Mrs. Bale that they are out of a job.
Jean is in the hallway, calling to Lionel and telling him to hurry. They are going to Hampshire. Judy and Sandy are helping with their bags and boxes. 
Jean asks if Judy is sure she doesn't want to go with them and Judy tells her not to look so innocent -- she should do her own dirty work. When Jean asks Sandy the same thing, Sandy says she is not a hired gun. Lionel meets them in the hallway and is distressed to see that Jean is taking more boxes to the country house. Jean says she is taking the boxes in order to bring things back. Judy mentions that Lionel is not dressed properly -- he should have riding breeches and the crop because that's what the squire wears when he dismisses the peasants. 
Lionel tells her that that is not remotely funny. Jean points out that this is not going to be easy for Lionel but Judith points out that he will have Jean right there with him to take some of the flack. As they leave, the Judith hollers "Good Hunting" and Jean, who was out the door, pops her head back in and tells them that she hopes they both have a thoroughly unpleasant day.
Meanwhile, at Hampshire, Mrs. Bale, Lol and Rocky are having tea in the kitchen and discussing the possibility that the old tradition of Christmas celebrations at the house be revived. They are really excited about this and realize that since Lionel is now the owner,
it is he who must make the decision. Rocky feels that too many Christmas traditions are now being forgotten. Mrs. Bale provides caroling as an example. Lol says that in the old days they used to give you three full verses, but now they sing a couple of lines and start rattling their tins. Mrs. Bale thinks she might be speaking out of turn, but tells Rocky that she still regrets the day he left. He calls her a "silly old bat" -- an endearment which, I'm sure she has come to love. Lol looks out the window and sees that Lionel has arrived and says he is going out to lend a hand. Rocky hopes that they are in a receptive mood.
Outside in the driveway, Lol pulls the suitcases from the back of the car. He asks if that is the lot and Lionel says yes, apart from a few boxes. This, of course, perks up Mrs. Bale's ears. "Boxes?" Jean looks frozen when she realizes she will probably have to provide some sort of explanation. Mrs. Bale walks over to her, sighs, and asks when she will be able to convince Jean that she need not bring supplies because this is not some log cabin in the Canadian Rockies. Jean explains that the boxes are empty. 
This confuses Mrs. Bale even more and she asks why Jean should bring empty boxes. Jean tries to think of an explanation. "Well, because..." Lionel's ears perk up now -- he, too, wonders how Jean will get out of this one. "...you can never have too many empty cardboard boxes for storage, can you?" she asks. Lionel has a big grin on his face. Jean and Lionel walk towards the house. Mrs. Bale lags behind and shakes her head.
Jean walks into the kitchen and asks where Madge is. Rocky tells her that she is wrestling with the local Operatic Society. 
She asks why and Rocky explains that they are planning a production of Irma La Douce. Jean is certain that Madge would approve of that, but Rocky explains that she wants to play Irma. Lionel feels that might be a long wrestle. Mrs. Bale says she will make a fresh pot of tea and Jean offers to help, but Mrs. Bale, as always, "can manage." Lol says that he is going to leave because he doesn't feel right. Jean asks if he is ill, but he explains that he really doesn't belong indoors. "Stuff and nonsense, man!" Rocky tells him. Mrs. Bale does not want him to leave because he is part of the task force. Lionel says that they retook the Falklands some time ago. She rephrases it -- the "persuasion" force, then. 
Jean wants to know who is persuading who to do what. Rocky explains that they would like to revive the old Christmases they used to have at the house. Jean and Lionel look apprehensive and guilty and the other three are really exited about the house being again alive with people. Mrs. Bale kept all the decorations. Rocky remembers how after one of Mrs. Bale's banquets you couldn't move for two days afterwards. 
As they go on and on with their memories, Lionel and Jean look more and more troubled. Rocky says it is his house now so it is his decision. He asks Lionel "what do you say?" Lionel can't seem to find the words because everyone is staring at him so expectantly. Finally Rocky says that quick decisions were never Lionel's strong point so he will come back later that night and give him a bit of time to think it over.
Lionel and Jean are in the bedroom, unpacking. He feels like Scrooge. Jean says they couldn't have known that they were intending to sell the house. Not, Lionel thinks, unless they had the house bugged. 
Jean begins to speculate. We walk in ready to tell them you are intending to sell the house -- Lionel corrects her and says we're selling the house -- and they're talking about keeping up the old Christmas. Jean thinks maybe they should wait until after Christmas to tell them. Lionel imagines that they should swoop in to tell them that they are out of a job while they are still digesting their Christmas pudding. He doesn't want that to happen so he says that if they want their Christmas they can have it, but they must be told that bad news now. 
Well, go on, she tells him. He didn't mean that minute. Jean sort of mopes around and asks what he's going to tell them. They sit side-by-side on the edge of the bed. He hasn't got the faintest notion about what to say. "Poor old squire," she says and rests her head on his shoulder. Jean says that after they've broken the news "we can drive off some cattle." Lionel points out that she said "we." She points out that they are a we. Yes, but when it comes to actually telling them, it's you then. 
Well, she says, it's your house. He corrects her -- our house. She tells him not to worry and that she won't leave him to do it alone and that way, if they are rushed, they won't be so badly outnumbered. She tells Lionel to keep it short, that way it is quicker. She sighs and lies down on the bed. Lionel asks her what she's doing and she tells him she is having a nap. He says that a nap doesn't solve anything -- it just delays the inevitable. The he gets on the bed and tells her to shift over. He, too, is not opposed to delaying the inevitable.
Jean walks into the kitchen and asks where Lol is -- she and Lionel have something to say to them both. Mrs. Bale tells her that there is no need to look for him because she can reach Lol by dialing him on her mobile phone. 
Jean is surprised that Lol has a mobile, but Mrs. Bale informs her that they move with the times when they have to. She dials him, says "Lol, this is Mrs. Bale ... over" 
Throughout this short conversation, after every one of her responses she adds the word "over," indicating that she probably didn't keep up that well with the times. She finishes the conversation with "over and out." She tells Jean that Lol will be there directly. Jean asks why she keeps saying over. 
"We thought you were supposed to," is the answer. Lionel enters the kitchen and selects two bottles of wine for the occasion. Jean agrees that those wines would be just fine. The telephone rings. It's Lol again. When Lionel hears her say "over" again he looks at Jean, who shrugs her shoulders and they both grin. She tells Lol that she will see him in a minute and says "over and out." Just at that moment, Lol comes through the kitchen door with his mobile and says "over and out." He shuts it off and grins. Jean tells Lol to sit down and he stutters and indicates he doesn't want to, but Mrs. Bale insists, so Lol wipes the seat with his red handkerchief and sits down.
Lionel begins by saying that he thought they could use a drink. Mrs. Bale questions whether or not it is too early. Jean tells her to think of it as moving with the times. Lol doesn't want too much -- he's alright with stout [strong, very dark beer or ale], but wine tends to make him go peculiar. Lionel raises his glass and says "Cheers!" Mrs. Bale says "Chin Chin," Lol says "Good health!" and Jean adds her vote for "Cheers!" Lionel says he wants to make this brief and to the point. Mrs. Bale tries to complete his thought by saying he's reached his decision about restoring the Christmas party. He seems to have forgotten all about it, but Jean reminds him that yes, he did promise he would come to a decision about that. He tells them that they can have their party. Mrs. Bale and Lol are overjoyed -- "What a very kind thing to do!" says Mrs. Bale. She is going to cook for 150 just to be on the safe side. Lionel is stunned by that. "Oh, why not?" asks a weary Jean. Lol hopes that Sandy and Judith will watch his six brothers under the mistletoe. Jean tells him that she will warn the girls. He hopes so, because if they are standing under the mistletoe looking for a kiss, they'll get one. He laughs mischievously. Jean comments that they are a bit forward. He says everyone is a bit forward after a glass of Mrs. Bale's punch. In fact, he starts to tell the story of the time when Mrs. Bale herself -- Mrs. Bale interrupts him by saying that Jean need not concern herself with the catering because she will order everything locally. Jean is glad of that -- it would take a lorry [a truck] to get it out from London.
Just then Rocky walks in and notices the wine on the table. Lionel says that he has come to a decision and his father tells him he can see that and that they should have a drink to it. He salutes Lionel and his child bride, Jean -- they may be townies, but they have a good heart and a sense of tradition. 
He raises his glass. Mrs. Bale says "to Mr. and Mrs. Hardcastle," to which Lol adds "Junior." Lionel is struggling for something to say. Rocky tells him there is really no need for a speech and adds that his speeches tend to go on a bit. He promises that this one won't. The moment comes. Jean takes his arm. "I've decided to sell the house," he tells them. They are all terribly disappointed. Lol blows his nose into the big red handkerchief.
Jean and Lionel are both back in the bedroom -- this time they are repacking what they've just unpacked. They are happy they decided not to spend the night. Jean mentions that they could have a gotten a poison breakfast. 
She wishes Lol would have stopped sniffing into the big red handkerchief. There's something that she finds very touching about a man with a big red handkerchief. Lionel had no idea that Mrs. Bale had been there for so long. Jean says that Mrs. Bale still only admits to be just over 40. And Lol's father worked there before Lol did. Jean tells him that it isn't as though they were throwing them out into the street. Not exactly. They talk about how quiet it got. 
Mrs. Bale did not mention the shipping forecast even once and Lionel feels that that's not natural. "She did say "Que sera will be," Jean notes. Lionel wonders why she didn't say Que sera sera but Jean doesn't think that Mrs. Bale would say a whole sentence in a foreign tongue. Lol said that life will go on. Lionel is upset by all the platitudes. Jean comforts him by saying that this is just a case of decent people and how they take the bad news. She reminds him that he is a kind man with room in his heart for others, but at the end of the day he does not owe Mrs. Bale or Lol a living. He doesn't owe anyone a living but his family and no matter what happens he has a right to do anything he wants to with his own house. He corrects her. "Our house, she says. He asks why he feels like climbing out of the window and making a run for it. All she can come up with is that perhaps he had a dark past. They leave with their suitcases.
Judith and Sandy are in the sitting room. The television is on, but Judith appears to be disinterested and Sandy shuts it off because she wants to talk. She begins by saying "About last night..." Judith interrupts her, saying she is getting a little tired of saying this, but she and Alistair are Sandy's own business and she is not asking for any sort of an explanation. 
Sandy says she is not offering any explanations -- she is asking a question. Judith asks her to go on. Sandy startles Judith by asking "Is Alistair gay?" Judith gives her a definite "No." When Sandy asks if she is sure, Judith gives a disbelieving grin and wants to know why on earth she is asking. She says that the other night she had had a little bit too much to drink so not coming home seemed like a very good idea. And? asks Judith. "He slept in the spare bedroom," Sandy says. "To start with..." Judith presumes. 
No -- the most seductive question he asked her was whether or not she wanted tea or coffee in the morning and he even offered her a pair of pajamas. Judith asks if they are talking about the same Alistair (hey hey) Deacon. Judith tries to come up with an explanation but can't. She asks if Sandy is sure he didn't even make one move. Not a move, Sandy tells her. Sandy claims that she didn't want him to make a move, but pride dictates that she should have had the chance to turn him down. She wondered whether all that talk was just a cover. They hear the sounds of Jean and Lionel returning home and are surprised since they didn't expect them to be back until the next day.
When Jean and Lionel enter the living room, Judith mock-screams "Look out, it's the wicked squire." Sandy just boos. Jean tells her she has bad timing. Judith is surprised that Lionel actually went thru with it. "It's what wicked squires do," Lionel tells her. Sandy tells him that she never thought she would see him do anything so .... she searches for a word. He suggests "despicable." She says "economically sound." Jean says that it had to be done and Lionel was man enough to do it. Judith wonders how Lol and Mrs. Bale took it and Jean indicates the both took it stoically. Judith wonders if they have had anything to eat, but Lionel says one can't eat when Mrs. Bale keeps saying things like "one can't expect things to stay the same forever. Jean tells them that Lol was sniffing into a big red hanky. "Oh, not a big red hanky," Sandy says. Lionel had no idea that the red hanky would have such a profound effect on women. Judith and Sandy leave to make them something to eat.
The telephone rings and Lionel goes to answer it, saying it is probably the first abusive phone call from the village. 
It is Rocky and Lionel asks him how he could possibly have arranged that so quickly. Jean is curious and asks what he's arranged. Lionel tells her that he has found a buyer for the house. Jean asks how. Lionel asks his father how and then says he was right -- it was staring them in the face all the time. Lionel thanks him and says that he will talk to him tomorrow and hangs up the phone. Jean wants to know who is going to buy the house and Lionel tells her that it is Rocky himself who is the buyer. "Oh, that's perfect!" she tells him. 
She feels that he and Madge belong there -- and, for that matter, so do Mrs. Bale and Lol -- she doesn't know why they left it in the first place. Lionel thinks for a moment. "Oh, my God," he says. Jean asks what's the matter. He says that his father gave him the house and now the old fool's trying to buy it back from him. He realizes he is winding up a wonderful day by robbing his own father. They leave the room.