Lionel arrives at the train station in Norwich where he is met by the master of the college at which he is scheduled to lecture. Meanwhile, back in London, Judith and Jean get on the train which is headed towards Norwich. Jean has her doubts about this undertaking, but Judith reassures her -- after all, didn't he dedicate his book to Pooh? As they speak Alistair enters the compartment. He, too, is going to Norwich to listen to Lionel's lecture. He doesn't see Jean at first and he turns on the charm as he approaches Judith and when she tells him where she's going, he's delighted. "Brilliant" It's a word he uses often, meaning something akin to "Great!" He's so enthusiastic and so unflappable and such a flirt that it's hard to take him seriously, but from what we know of Judith she's easily taken in on a pretty regular basis. Judith appears to be flattered by Alistair's attention, but just as suddenly it's gone. From the moment he sees Jean, Judith might as well not have been in the room. He's smitten and has been since the party. He asks Jean why they left the party and she tells him it was past their bedtime. Every few moments in every episode so far it becomes clear that age is a very big deal for Jean.

Lionel is chatting with the master, who assumes that he'll stay overnight at the college. Lionel informs him, though, that he already has plans and will stay with a "chum." The scene shifts briefly to a blonde woman who is removing a picture of Lionel from a dresser drawer and displaying it prominently in the bedroom. She stands back to admire it. We're getting the sense that this is something more than a chum.

Lionel gets out of a taxi somewhere in the country. The taxi driver is annoying him by asking so many questions which Lionel figures are none of his business. The cabbie doesn't understand why Lionel is not staying in a more central location. He's surprised because the place doesn't look like a bed and breakfast -- there are no signs. Lionel tells him the sign must be in the wash. The guy he looks as though the last thing he'd be concerned with is what makes people tick, but he says he's curious because sometimes people are motivated by the most obscure things. Just then the the woman we saw earlier with the picture appears at the door and announces to Lionel that he's been naughty. The cabbie shoots Lionel a knowing look, which assures him the motivation mystery has now been solved. Lionel looks as though he'd like to crawl under a rock.

The blonde is called Denise Cropper and she was obviously expecting Lionel. She leads him into the bedroom -- the room with the picture -- and tells him of the space she made for him during the visit. He was naughty, she said, because he hadn't contacted her in six months. He tries to explain to her that this is not really a serious relationship that they have -- they are just ships that pass in the night. Perhaps a little more than that because she did put the silk sheets on the bed. She pesters Lionel about wanting to go with him to the lecture. He tries to tell her that it's very boring, but she keeps at him and he relents.

Judith and Jean are sitting in the lounge of the hotel and gullible as she is, Judith finds it wonderfully co-incidental that Alistair is booked into the same hotel. Even Judith can see that he "fancies" Jean, but Jean says he's really after Judith and passes off his attentions as "ingratiating himself with the mother." Alistair bounces into the conversation saying that everything is all set - he managed to wangle sherry with the master before the lecture, front seats at the lecture and dinner afterwards with the master. He can get all these things done easily because, he says, he's a publisher and everyone wants to write a book. When he expresses an interest in their subject matter, he's got them where he wants them.

This reminds Jean - she wants to ask Alistair a "personal" question. He's delighted (although it's too early to remove his glasses) and gets that schoolboy-with-a-crush expression. She wants to know why Alistair is publishing Lionel's book.

ALISTAIR: Because it's terrific.
JEAN: I read it last night.
ALISTAIR: Ah, well...

Judith wonders whether Lionel is also staying at the same hotel. Alistair says that he prefers a bed and breakfast when he's up in Norwich. Jean hopes he's being well looked after. Suddenly I'm aware there is a laugh track.

Lionel and Denise are all decked out and joining the master for sherry. He's a harmless dirty-old-man with a gleam in his eye. He grins at the sight of Denise who may well be all dressed up, but in the end, like the old joke, she's still a pig. The master spots the tray of drinks. He grabs one for Lionel -- he figures Lionel for dry. He takes a look at Denise and takes another drink from the tray saying, "My guess is that you're sweet." Coyly she says "You'll have to ask Lionel."

Lionel spots Alistair at the door. "Hello Mate". Lionel leaves Denise to the master and walks over to Alistair, who still hasn't learned not to call him mate. Alistair is all grins and the evening has just begun. When Lionel says he's glad Alistair could make it, Alistair says he isn't alone. Judy is just coming through the door: "Surprise!" Jean is on her heels. Lionel's jaw drops - "I didn't know you were coming." Judy tells him "That's why I said 'surprise.'"

Denise floats over, laughing and calling the master a "lively old dog." She's loud and flashy and speaks with a lower-class accent that suggests Eliza Doolittle (that would be pre-Henry Higgins) and Jean wonders who she is and what her connection to Lionel might be. She looks her up and down. Lionel introduces Jean as an "old friend". Denise wants to know "how old a friend?" Again we can see that Jean is rubbed the wrong way. She wants to know how long Denise and Lionel have known each other. Denise answers that they've known each other for a couple of years on and off -- actually they first met when Denise offered him overnight accommodations. Oh, if only Lionel could find that rock.

They leave the cocktail party and head towards the auditorium where Lionel will speak. Lionel walks arm-in-arm ("if she gets any closer she'll be in that suit with him") with Denise and Judith and Jean walk behind them. "Overnight accommodations!" Jean just can't get over it. She thought he had more taste than that. As they walk into the auditorium the camera stops for a close-up on the poster outside which advertises the lecture. Across the picture of Lionel is plastered a banner which reads "elephant-killer".

Inside, the master introduces Lionel. This is not a standing room only crowd. There are lots of unfilled seats. Judith, Jean, Denise and Alistair are in the front row. There is a cordial applause, led by Denise who is that last to stop. Again Jean looks at her like she's an idiot. Lionel begins speaking. He barely gets out two sentences when someone in the crowd shouts "When did you start slaughtering elephants?". Lionel tries to continue. Another such question. Lionel is puzzled. There are more shouts, demanding that he answer the question. He says he doesn't know anything about this -- he was only a coffee planter. But the audience members say they know better because they read the blurb on the promotion for the lecture: "One man's fight to conquer the wilderness." Lionel glares at Alistair, who shrinks in his seat and looks foolish. The audience is getting louder, shouting a chorus of "elephant-killer". There's an inflatable elephant floating above the crowd. There's just no stopping them.

Lionel is angry when he and Alistair arrive for dinner afterwards. It was the most "juvenile, irresponsible" thing he ever heard of. Well, Alistair reasons "students will be students." Lionel tells Alistair that he was referring to him and that blurb of his, rather than to the students. Alistair feels that Lionel just doesn't get the business of promotion -- he needed to do that to hype the book. Lionel wonders if the plan for the cover would be a picture of him standing on a pile of dead elephants. He probably should know better than to offer such suggestions to Alistair.

The master arrives, apologizing to Lionel for the reaction of the audience. He begins to offer to waive or adjust his fee, but the master has none of it. Lionel explains that the audience was probably aroused by a combination of lager and handbills which were distributed by a "publisher with a mental age of naught."

Jean arrives, greeting Lionel as Bwana Makuba. Lionel is exasperated - "don't you start," he says. He wonders where Denise might be. Jean suggests she's doing a retouching job. Judith meows in her ear. Someone asks what's on the menu for dinner. "Chicken," the master thinks. Jean leans over to Lionel and asks if he shot it that afternoon.

When they are seating themselves at the table Lionel sees that Jean puts her hand on the chair to prevent anyone but the master from sitting next to her. Again he looks puzzled. Lionel sits next to Denise and she said she liked Lionel because he was steady. Lionel thought a more appropriate term was "boring". She said he was never boring and as she reassured him she put her hand on his thigh. Jean rose a bit in her seat as though she were trying to see what was going on behind her field of vision. Denise said that she and Lionel "click" like mad. She then suggested that Lionel might be tired and they say they will excuse themselves. Alistair tells Jean they could have a nightcap at the hotel. Jean says that would be nice and Lionel seems surprised that they're at the same hotel.

Only Judith has no place to go. She thinks she'll stay and have another drink. The dirty-old-master seems delighted. Denise thinks it works out nicely because "everyone's fixed up".

Jean and Alistair and Lionel and Denise walk outside. A taxi approaches and Alistair goes to check and see if it's theirs. Denise goes to fetch the car, leaving Lionel and Jean alone for the first time that night. He tells her he didn't know she was coming. She looks at him and says it isn't her business. He is bothered by the nightcap. "You won't get silly?" She assures him she won't get any sillier than he does. Alistair is so happy he looks a little high. It was their cab and he and Jean get into it. He waves and says "Cheers, mate" as they drive off to get that nightcap."

Lionel is stunned to see Denise drive up with the inflatable elephant attached to the top of her car.

Alistair and Jean are having that nightcap in the hotel lounge. He removes his glasses and tells her he wants to know everything about her from "A to Zed." She tells him that she went from "A to J" before he was even born. He insists that "attraction is attraction".

JEAN: You should be saying this to Judith.
ALISTAIR: Hmmmph. She's a child.
JEAN: Yes, I know. Mine.

Meanwhile Lionel and Denise are headed back to her home. She's sure that Lionel's bad mood has something to do with Jean's having turned up at the lecture. They argue. He doesn't understand why she hasn't removed the elephant. "It's unusual. Better than a Garfield stuck to the window."

Back at the college, Judith is having her own set of troubles. The master is getting as lively as he can manage. He's down on one knee reciting poetry about the mystery of woman. She tells him she'd better not have any more to drink or she'll get silly. This brings a gleam to his eye: he wants her to have one more. He's talking about her shoulders. She asks him to show her around. They walk out the door. A scream is heard. They walk back in. She's incredulous. She straightens her dress. "You pinched my bum." He apologizes for being so out of practice in the art of seduction. He calls for a car to bring her back to the hotel. She feels sorry for him and gives him a peck on the cheek.

Alistair still has his glasses off -- apparently he just can't handle the truth. Someone approaches him and says that the champagne is ready. Seems he ordered a bottle for the room. Jean can't believe his persistence. The only thing that she wants at this time of night is "a comfortable bed and a good book." This pleases him -- "what should we read?" he wants to know.She tires of this: "I'm going to bed." With a big grin he says "Now you're talking." Finally he puts his glasses back on and tells her that he's giving up -- for tonight. Jean leaves.

Just as soon as Jean leaves Judith arrives back at the hotel. He does a 180 degree turn, emotionally. "Well, hellllll-o." Off come the glasses. He asks if she wants a drink and she says "no." He tells her he has a bottle in his room. She tells him he also has a lot of bloody nerve. She walks off. He replaces his glasses."

We're in the bedroom at Denise's home. Things just aren't going smoothly. Something's wrong. There are little clues: Lionel has taken to changing in the bathroom. He tells her that her perfume smells like furniture polish. He says that he's going to sleep in the guest room. Lionel tries to explain that theirs was a meeting of convenience rather than a great passion. She thinks it would be different if Jean were in that bed. He agrees. She would've passed out, he says, from the fumes of that perfume. She orders him out of the house. He begins to pack his things. She's angry because of "all the gentlemen who have stayed here" he's the only one who has taken advantage of her. As he gathers his things he notices that in the dresser drawer there are several pictures, just like the one she has of him. He asks about them. She tells him they are "people."

He goes outside in the middle of the night and starts walking down the road. He passes the car with the elephant still on top. The elephant begins to deflate.