Jean and Lionel are expecting company. He brings a tray of hors d'oeuvres into the living room, which prompts him to observe that peanuts are funny things. Both peanuts and "things on sticks" are not usually things that one thinks about and yet the minute you invite someone over for drinks out they come. Jean, who comments on Lionel's very philosophical mood, corrects him -- they are not having anyone "in for drinks," but they are taking Sandy out to dinner to cheer her up because she has just broken up with her boyfriend. He says if the roles were reversed he wouldn't be cheered up by being taken out to dinner. Jean agrees that it wouldn't work for Lionel. He says that at all costs they must avoid being "unnaturally bright." Jean sarcastically responds by telling him that wouldn't be very hard for him.

Lionel has been preoccupied with thoughts of his father's upcoming wedding. He's been bothered by it from the beginning for several reasons, starting with the fact that his father is 85 years old and Madge is 78. Jean, who says she is looking forward to the wedding, is in one of her playful moods - "Do you think she's too young for him?" She asks if Lionel will call her "mummy" or perhaps even "Mumsie." They hear people in the other room. Lionel feels awkward - he's not very good with young women, he tells her. Jean says that he used to be and suggests he try to remember how.

Judith, Sandy and Alistair walk into the living room. Jean looks at Judith and mouths the words "how is she?" to which Judith makes a hand motion which says "don't ask." Sandy tells them that this is all very kind of them, but she doesn't think it's a good idea. Alistair and Jean agree that it is a very good idea. Jean looks at Lionel who is making drinks. Lionel? Lionel? In his turn he admits he thinks it's a crackpot idea. They all sigh. But he adds that it's well-intentioned and has been arranged by people who care for her and she'd better make the best of it. It was just the right thing to say and Sandy, who is touched, gives him a kiss. Jean smiles at him: "You did remember," she says. They all sit down to have drinks and Lionel points out the peanuts and things on a stick. Sandy tells Lionel she'll have a gin and tonic.

Alistair has booked a table at a very fancy restaurant. He hopes that's all right. Sandy says that maybe she should split up more often. The doorbell rings. Jean wonders who it is. Lionel wonders why people say that when the doorbell rings. He goes to the front door. Sandy says that she hopes they haven't tried to fix her up with anyone. Alistair assures her that if she wanted that, he could have half a dozen A-1 guys on the doorstep in 10 minutes with their tongues hanging out. Jean remarks that they could lick the steps clean. Lionel re-enters, apologizes and says that it's his father. Jean isn't at all upset -- she thinks his father is very sweet. He tells her she looks more "dishy" every time he sees her. She introduces him to Judith and Sandy and he bursts out with "Good God a man could go mad with desire in this room." He immediately endears himself to everyone. Jean remembers that Alistair already knows Lionel's father because of the book "favor." Mr. Hardcastle says he hasn't seen Alistair since he was a "martyr to acne." He tells everyone to forget the "Mister" stuff and just call him "Rocky."

Rocky apologizes for intruding -- he observes that from way things look they are obviously headed for a night on the town. Lionel rather curtly asks him what he's doing there. Jean thinks he's being rude. Rocky says that since he's getting married the next week he made a special trip up to London to see his "quack." He thought it was only right to have an exam before the wedding. He figures that as long as he was there he'd feast his eyes on one of the bridesmaids. Jean proudly advises everyone that he's referring to her. Sandy seems surprised: "bridesmaid?" Jean tells her "smirk and you don't get a pudding." He also came up to ask Lionel to give Madge away at the wedding. Jean asks Rocky to come along with them and promises he can sit next to Sandy. "Rock on," he says.

Alistair says they should hurry because the restaurant likes people to be on time. When Rocky hears where they have reservations he goes on about what kind of snobs eat there. He says if he comes along he insists on dancing half the night away with this "delicious young creature" (referring to Sandy) and says they should boogie somewhere and later stop to have some hamburgers. They all get up to leave. Jean looks at Lionel and says "Come on, Rocky II." Alistair observes that Lionel is nothing like his father. Lionel says he sometimes wonders if he is adopted.

Time passes. It's 1:30 in the morning, time for Rocky to "toddle." Alistair hails a taxi and Jean tells him she's sorry he has to go. As he is about to get in, he has a thought: he invites Judith, Alistair and Sandy to his wedding. He will hear no arguments -- now that's all fixed, he says. Rocky embraces Jean, tells her to "Rock on" and gets into the cab, which pulls away. They watch the cab leave and Judith and Sandy both comment about what a wonderful man Rocky is. Jean turns to Lionel and Alistair and notices that the two of them are being very quiet. "Outclassed" is the word, says Alistair. At least Rocky managed to get the job done -- Sandy was cheered up. Judith, Sandy and Alistair aren't tired and want to go to another spot. Lionel tells them to go on without them -- "Jean and I will round the evening off by knocking off a policeman's helmet," he says. They split up.

Lionel and Jean are collapsed on the couch. Jean wants to go to bed but she's really too tired to climb the stairs. Lionel asks if she minds if he stays overnight. She says she doesn't. He wonders whether or not Judith minds -- he doesn't want her to think of them as "seedy." She says that sometimes he's positively Dickensian. He says that's okay, they were personal friends. He tells her that he just can't get the wedding out of his mind or rid himself of the feeling that he's giving one looney to another.

It's the day of the wedding and Alistair is driving them to Hampshire. Someone in a pink convertible with a pair of bull horns on the front is tailing Alistair's car. The driver keeps blowing the musical horn, which really annoys Alistair. Jean encourages him to "burn some rubber." Lionel feels that expression can be directly linked to Rocky's bad influence on Jean. Instead, Alistair follows Lionel's advice and slows up to let the "pretentious nurk" pass. It's a woman dressed in western (as in "cowgirl") clothing. "Thank you pardner," says the woman as she passes, giving them a wave of her hand. Jean wants to know who on earth that was. Lionel knows. He looks disgusted and informs them that that's the bride.

A very dressed up Lionel walks into the sitting room, catching Sandy just gazing out the window. He wonders what she's thinking. She says that Nick, her ex-boyfriend, called the night before while she was ironing. He wanted to talk, but she thinks all the talking is past. He tells her not to think negatively when she's so young. They compliment each other on how good they look. Jean walks in thinking she looks like the Michelin man. She's wearing a plain, cream-colored suit with a matching, wide-brimmed hat. Moments later she's afraid she looks like a mushroom. She's in a nervous state. She thinks that by her age she should have passed the time when she worried about being a bridesmaid. Lionel tells her not to worry -- "with what'll be trundling up the aisle ahead of you, you'll look a positive stripling." She fears he's in a bad mood and is determined to spoil the day. Rocky enters and immediately debunks the Michelin man/mushroom fears by saying that Jean looks like a young Lana Turner. Sandy thinks Rocky looks distinguished.

Mrs. Bale enters with Harvey Wallbangers and a weather report. She tells Lionel that he should be collecting the bride and indicates that a smile wouldn't hurt. Lionel tells Mrs. Bale "that's rich, coming from you." Rocky tells Jean that Mrs. Bale is the other bridesmaid. This prompts Lionel to say that it's a shame the circus isn't in town. If they were they could come along and round things off. Lionel and Mrs. Bale leave and Jean apologizes for Lionel's apparent rudeness. Sandy excuses herself to see if Judith and Alistair are dressed -- she corrects herself quickly: up ...I should have said dressed up. This leaves Rocky and Jean alone.

Rocky pats the couch next to him indicating that he wants Jean to have a seat. He asks her if she thinks, as he knows Lionel does, that he's a silly old twerp. "Of course not," she answers. He tells her he wishes she and Lionel would get married. Jean replies that it's a bit late for that. Then she realizes how ironic it is for her to be saying that to Rocky, particularly on this day. He wonders whether or not they're "shacked up" yet. Jean tells him that sometimes he does stay the night. They're not exactly feeling like a raging torrent these days, she explains. Mrs. Bale rushes in and interrupts their conversation with some bad news. Mr. Fishwick has broken his tibia and won't be able to be the best man.

Lionel is waiting for Madge. She pops her head out of the door and tells him she won't be very long and he should have a bash on her drums if the mood takes him. He doesn't believe it will. When she comes out she's wearing a wedding dress and a white cowboy cowboy hat. He says "you won't be wearing the hat will you?" . She guesses not, but informs Lionel that it once belonged to Johnny Cash. She removes the hat and puts on a veil. The doorbell rings and she tells Lionel that must be the bridesmaids. It is Alistair, Jean and Mrs. Bale. He lets them in and introduces Jean to Madge. This is the first time they've met and Madge tells her "you'll certainly bring the average age down." As an aside I must say there's no way that Madge looks 78. I have a great deal of trouble believing that Rocky and Madge are the older couple while Jean and Lionel represent the kids. Lionel introduces Alistair to Madge. She looks at him and says "aren't you pretty?" Alistair thinks he's the one who should be saying that. Why did Alistair come to Madge's room? Lionel wants to know. Alistair tells him the news about Mr. Fishwick and informs him that they're now working on Plan B, which has Lionel as the best man. Lionel is surprised and asks who is going to give Madge away. Alistair volunteers. He'd be honored, if Madge doesn't mind. Madge thinks it'll be good for her image to be given away by "a bit of a hunk."

Sandy and Judith are standing outside the church. Sandy says she hopes she doesn't cry. Weddings always get to her. She wants to know how Judith feels, but Judith reminds her she's tried it twice already. They go inside fortified with half a box of tissues. Rocky and Lionel arrive. Lionel is telling Rocky a joke about a parrot that he might use at the toast, but Rocky just doesn't find it funny. He tells his father he'll just do his speech without the joke. Rocky is a bit nervous. He wonders if Lionel has the ring. Lionel assures him he's very proficient at the non-joke stuff and they walk into the church.

Everyone is seated. Sandy is crying long before anything happens. The music begins. Alistair and Madge are walking down the aisle and she remarks that she hasn't seen so many funny hats in ages. He reminds her that she wanted to wear the stetson. Mrs. Bale and Jean follow. A very stiff Mrs. Bale has a huge smile on her face and you can hear her mouthing her steps: left, pause, right pause. Jean tells her to stop doing that because she's throwing her off. Lionel brings his father towards the front of the church where he can meet his bride. When she gets to him, Rocky turns towards her and says "My God Madge, you're a cracker." When the minister asks if anyone has objections to this marriage you can almost see Jean crossing her fingers as she looks worriedly at the back of Lionel's neck. After some unconventional responses to the minister's questions, they are finally pronounced man and wife. They exit the church, leaving Judith and Sandy in tears.

At the reception Lionel is trying to tell Jean the parrot joke. Jean doesn't get it. She tells him to just say what he feels and leave the jokes out of the speech. Then she stops herself, knowing that if Lionel says what he feels there would be real trouble. She tells him, say.... and she couldn't think of what to say. She thinks the wedding was beautiful. Lionel thinks it was a farce -- here was the bride being given away by someone she's only just met, they had an odd bridesmaid in Mrs. Bale, the best man couldn't make it. "As long as you both shall live," he says mockingly. They could be back for the funeral in a month or so, he thinks. Jean thinks that at least they know where they're going, which is more than can be said for the two of them. They have an argument and Jean walks off and meets Judith who observes that Jean and Lionel have been arguing all day. Jean tells her that Lionel is actually jealous of his father. Judith says that she's sometimes jealous of her because she seems to have her life under control.

Lionel is in another room. He thanks Mrs. Bale for telling him there's a phone call and he picks up the phone. It's his father's doctor. Lionel thinks there might be some mistake, that he actually wanted to speak with Rocky, but the doctor says that he does want to speak with Lionel. A grave look comes over Lionel's face. "I see, ", he says. He tells the doctor to continue.

Lionel is reading telegrams. The last one being from a fellow named Cannonball Perkins. It reads simply "Groove, kids, groove." Lionel says he was going to tell a joke about a parrot, but he's been put off the idea. Instead, he'll say a word about the bride and groom. Jean looks apprehensive about what exactly Lionel might say. He says that to some who don't really know the couple, this might all have a bizarre tinge, which, frankly, it has. But to those of us that do know them, Lionel says, it's really rather fine. At an age when they couldn't have gotten life insurance, they chose to invest in each other instead. He says it takes courage, it takes hope and it takes love. Those things, they have in abundance. Rocky and Madge are holding hands at the table. He raises his glass and tells everyone to toast the pair. Everyone is touched by the speech. Judy and Sandy are still crying.

Everyone is waiting outside for the bride and groom to get into the car, which is being sprayed with some aerosol cream that forms the words "Just Married." Alistair says he always suspected that Lionel had a softer side. Jean can't believe she heard Lionel say those things when she knew he was dead set against this wedding. She'll ask him why, she says, first chance she gets. Rocky and Madge leave their house wearing buckskin jackets and stetson hats. Madge still has her bouquet. Rocky walks up to say goodbye to Lionel and thanks him for those words, saying he was damned eloquent at the end of the day. Madge tells Lionel she will take care of Rocky. "At break-neck pace?" he asks. "That's the only way to go," says Madge. He was afraid of that. He leans over and gives her a kiss on the cheek, saying "Good luck." He tells his father to take care and have a good time. They wave to the crowd who surrounds them, get into the decorated car and drive off. Madge beeps the horn on the way out.

Jean walks into the sitting room where Lionel is sitting pensively. She says that he just missed seeing Mrs. Bale dancing with Alistair. He tells her it will all be on a video, including the Lone Ranger driving off into the sunset with Tonto. She tells Lionel it was a lovely speech. She says he can call her suspicious if he wants to, but she doesn't believe he could have had a change of heart so immediately. He tells her he had a phone call from Rocky's doctor and "the old fool will be lucky if he lasts another year." She touches Lionel's hand and tells him she's sorry. She wonders if he told Rocky. Lionel says that this was hardly an opportune moment. She asks if he will ever tell him. He doesn't think so -- he quotes an old saying: "One crowded hour of glorious life is worth an age without a name." He wants them to have every minute of their crowded hour.

They're on the way home. Sandy tells Alistair to slow down. He's only doing 30, he says, but she tells him she thinks she saw something on a tree. Sandy does, too. Alistair slows a bit. They're able to make out the signs: Sandy, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I love you, I love you. Alistair stops the car. Sandy realizes that all this is Nick's doing. Alistair recognizes that this apology has style. Nick is sitting on a motorcycle just a short distance ahead of the car. Sandy gets out of the car and Alistair gets out and walks her over to him. They hug. He gives her a helmet.

Alistair and Judith watch them from alongside their car. Lionel and Jean also watch, but remain inside the car. Jean thinks that was a lovely way to apologize. Lionel says he can't ride a motorbike. Nick drives off with Sandy, who waves goodbye from the back of the bike. Jean tells Lionel he did very well on that day. He tells her it made him start to think about where they were going. They ought to make a start, he says, and live together. Before Jean can really respond Judith gets into the car. She looks at her mother, who looks very serious and asks if it's a bad time. "A rather good time, actually." Jean smiles broadly, and blushes at the same time.