Judith and Sandy are having breakfast and reading the newspaper. Sandy shows Judith a picture and speculates about whether or not "they're her own." Judith hopes not. Her legs are six fit long as well. Judith tells her that they should console themselves with the fact that intellectually the woman is a vacuum. Sandy's a bit more cautious since they don't actually know that to be a fact. Doesn't matter -- they can think it. Jean rushes into the room nervous because she overslept. She wants to know why no-one woke her. They assure her that she doesn't have to race to get into the office first thing. She wants them not to start up with her. As she passes, Sandy shows her the newspaper. "Goodness gracious," she says, apparently believing "they" don't belong to the woman in question. Judith tells Jean not to bother with supper for them that evening -- they're going out with Alistair. "Again?" Jean asks. Judith wants to know why she said it that way, but Jean tells her it's nothing. Sandy and Judith will "open up the shop" and Sandy says that they won't make any executive decisions until the Big Gun gets in. Jean says she doesn't like being described as a piece of artillery. She doesn't like "Top Dog" either. Judith says they'd better get out of there before Lionel sees what they've done to the paper. As she says it Lionel walks into the kitchen and overhears. It isn't as bad as he might have imagined: it's only in two very tidy bits and at least it isn't covered in jam. They leave.
Lionel wonders if there is any chance that the paper can be delivered directly to their bedroom door. Only, says Jean, if they give the paper boy the front door key. She asks Lionel if he wants toast. He doesn't answer because he's busy looking at the picture of the woman that they were discussing earlier. Jean asks him if he believes that, referring to the woman, and he tells her that he hasn't really asked himself that. She thinks it's amazing how men get taken in and tells him that she won't come to life. He says it's just as well because it would be potentially embarrassing to have two women fighting over him. 
As she makes the toast, she tells Lionel that Judy and Sandy are going out with Alistair that evening. It seems to be happening quite often and she doesn't understand it. Lionel tells her that they're all friends. She wants to know if he would go out with two women. He never had the chance. She wants to know what that means and he tells her he was just being flippant. If Alistair's famous roving eye suddenly settled on Sandy, why is he always inviting Judith along with them? Lionel says he isn't up for these questions in the morning. Jean says it really isn't their business anyway. "We just leave it alone," suggests Lionel. She wants Lionel to have a word with Alistair about it when he sees him next. "Certainly not," he tells her. She totally ignores him and advises him not to make it obvious when they are having the discussion. She tells him she has to go because she's late and she rushes away before he can register his protest. He's left in the kitchen mumbling something to himself about his not having agreed to talk with Alistair. He begins to read his mail and comes to an envelope that seems to trouble him. He opens it, unfolds it, looks at it and says "Good God."
Jean walks into the house with Alistair. Lionel rushes up to tell her something, but she's distracted byAlistair and he loses the chance. They go into the living room. Alistair is early and the girls haven't even come home yet. He tells her that he had a meeting with a Malaysian guy, but he called off with the flu. "Malaysian malaise," Jean says and laughs at her own joke. "Nice one," says Alistair. 
Lionel is making himself a drink and something light for Alistair who doesn't want anything alcoholic. He asks if Jean would like a drink, but she walks hurriedly towards the hallway and says she has something to do. It's obvious that she wants Lionel to be alone with Alistair so he can question him about his relationship with the girls. But just in case he doesn't understand, Jean catches his eye, motions towards Alistair and wordlessly insists that he get this taken care of. Lionel sighs. Alistair asks why he is sighing and Lionel tells him that he was just thinking about Judy and Sandy. Alistair says that in that case Lionel should be having a great big smile on his face. "The three of you seem to be going out quite a lot lately," he observes. They are, aren't they, Alistair agrees. 
"As a threesome," Lionel says. Alistair counters with "well we would be, there are three of us." He flashes a smile. Lionel tells him he doesn't know what he's even talking about. Alistair wants to know if something is bothering him. Well, Jean's not exactly bothered -- well, just a bit, he reverses himself. Alistair is confused. They're on the freeway, he tells Lionel, but he just hung a left -- they're not connecting. Lionel apologizes. It's his fault for not coming to the point. He thinks that this is what he's supposed to say: "You going out with Judy and Sandy at the same time.....I can't go any further with that sentence." Alistair tells him that he hopes he's not thinking what he thinks he's thinking, but Lionel tells him he doesn't even know what he's thinking. Alistair assures him that they are all mates. The millenium looms -- this kind of relationship can function these days, Alistair says.
Judith and Sandy walk in and are surprised to see that Lionel is there so early. He tells them that they have five minutes to get ready. They leave to do just that. Jean comes into the room looking cheerful and innocent, wondering what those two having been chatting about. She looks sternly at Lionel when Alistair isn't looking and mouths "Did you ask him? Did you ask him?" And Lionel wears one of those strange looks. He must have been spotted looking confused by Alistair because he smiles awkwardly.
Alistair and the girls leave and Jean and Lionel sit in the living room. Jean says she can tell by looking at him that Lionel didn't establish anything with Alistair. He says that he doesn't even know what she wanted him to establish. 
Alistair thinks of Judith and Sandy as mates, he tells her. Jean reminds him that he never thought of her as a mate. He tells her he wants to change the subject -- he got a letter that morning. She hopes it isn't bad news. Not exactly, it was from his ex-wife. She gets up and moves farther away, onto the couch. How is she? Jean asks. He knows she really doesn't care. She wants to see him, but he doesn't know why since she didn't display the slightest bit of interest in him since the divorce. In any case she wrote to say that she'll be in London for a few days and would like to meet for a drink. He doesn't know why she'd say that. "Old time's sake?" Jean suggests. They never had old times. 
He doesn't plan on going to meet her. Jean wants to know what if she needs help. She never asked Lionel for help in all that time -- never even once asked him to zip up her dress. Jean says that she thinks he should go. Lionel says that isn't like her and when she questions what he means by that he tells her that she has thrown the odd jealous fit. She denies having done that. He rephrases it: "Displayed the odd twinge..." "Well, perhaps just the odd one," she admits. Oh, all right, he says, we'll see her. "We?" she asks. She wonders if Lionel has told her about Jean. He never did. She says that she's sure that even if she did know, she wouldn't want Jean to come along. No, he says, he wants her to come -- it's better than having her sit home dying of curiosity. She grins and tells Lionel go ring her and get it over with. Jean says she's going into the kitchen so that Lionel won't be inhibited when he gets his ex-wife, Margaret, on the phone. She walks out. He says loudly "you won't be listening in on the extension there, will you?" She walks back in, gives him a dirty look and tells him that that remark isn't even worth an answer. He calls and asks if Margaret is still there, hoping not, but no such luck. He asks to speak with her.
Jean is in the kitchen peeling potatoes for dinner. Lionel comes in and says he's spoken to Margaret and it's all set for 8:30. "When?" she asks. He tells her it is for that night. 
He tells her that he thought it was best to get it over with quickly. She's horrified. She tells him that she's peeling potatoes. He says she should bring them with her and have the kitchen help at the hotel finish them off. She ignores that, but she looks panicked. She can't possibly be ready for 8:30. He tells her it is an hour and a half away. "She's had all day to get ready," Jean protests. Lionel tries reason: she didn't even know they were coming until a couple of minutes ago. It doesn't work. She tells him not to dare say that she looks fine as she is. He tells her that, apart from the apron, she does look fine. 
He doesn't understand all the fuss. They're only going for drinks -- it's not a long frock and tiara job. "What if she does wear a long frock?" Jean asks him. What if she does, he asks. Jean tells him that you're one up in a long frock. He suggests that she wear one then. "What if she doesn't? He tells her that then she'll be one up. He says he's in a no-win situation, but she insists that she's the one in a no-win situation. She thinks she shouldn't go. He tells her to just go on and get ready. She leaves the kitchen and walks through the hall and up the stairs, all the while complaining about how bad she looks and he, meanwhile, is telling her it ain't so. She asks if he's going to spend all this time contradicting her. No -- he's going to have a shower and then decide if he should wear a long or a short shirt.
They're waiting at the hotel and Margaret is late. Lionel says she never was a very good timekeeper. Jean is nervous and fidgeting with her clothes. She should have worn one of the other dresses she tried on. Lionel says it was too long to explain about Jean so he never did say that she was coming along. 
He'll leave it until she gets there to surprise her. She can't stop fidgeting -- he always tells her that she looks good in everything. She calls him reassuring. She shouldn't need reassurance because she's much cuddlier than Margaret ever was. Cuddlier? She seems offended. He corrects himself -- prettier. He reminds her that she has seen Margaret's photograph. Jean says it was a blurry picture and she could have changed since then. No, Margaret was born middle-aged, he tells Jean. He doesn't mean to be unkind, but there's no reason to worry. All Jean has to face is a very drab woman. Just then a very well-dressed woman approaches them. 
It's Margaret, but Lionel doesn't recognize her at first. Jean was right -- she has changed. For her part, she looks at Lionel and says "You look much older." Jean just looks her up and down, eyes wide. She sees Jean and apologizes. She didn't mean to ignore her, but she didn't know Lionel was going to bring a friend. Jean tells her that she's not a friend, she's a wife. He introduces them and for a few awkward moments they can't decide whether or not to shake hands. Each begins to offer a hand and then retreats. Lionel and Margaret sit down. She orders champagne. Lionel says she never liked champagne. 
She tells him that she didn't like a lot of things. Lionel asks where her husband it. She informs him that he's dead -- pushing up daisies. He died on his yacht. She wonders whether or not Jean and Lionel sail. Jean tells her they've been on the Serpentine a couple of times. The waiter brings the glasses and Margaret tells him to put a couple of bottles on ice in case they get thirsty. Lionel asks if someone is joining them. Yes -- her current chap, Gary, who takes longer to get ready than she does. Margaret wonders if Jean does anything or does she just look after Lionel. Jean explains that she runs a secretarial agency. "Sweeeet," says Margaret. Jean looks annoyed. Lionel observes that she's gone blonde. She tells him she's gone all sorts of things and asks what Jean's natural hair color is. "This," Jean answers. Margaret wrinkles up her face in an expression that says "what a shame!"
She sees Gary approaching. 
Margaret tells him he's more vain than she is. He tells her he likes "to look good for you baby." He's wearing a white tuxedo jacket and pink bow tie and vest. He looks like your average young, blond gigolo or maybe the son of the average gigolo. He shakes hands with Lionel and walks over to Jean, looks directly into her eyes and kisses her hand. Jean's flattered. Margaret tells him to quit eating her hand and pour some champagne. Some time has passed. The drinks are flowing. Margaret appears to be getting drunk. She and Gary can't seem to keep their hands off each other. Jean asks what Gary does. 
Margaret tells her that Gary is an actor. He had two lines in an episode of Baywatch last year. He says that it was a cameo and there is talk of asking him back. Jean tells Margaret that Lionel is a writer. She seems surprised. He did a "sort of a book" he says. Jean tells her that it was a very good book and it was selling very, very well. When he tells her that it was called My Life in Kenya she asks if she's in it. "On and off," he tells her. 
Jean blurts out that Lionel has written a film as well. "You are a dark horse," she says. She asks what it's about. When he tells her it's sort of a love story, she's more surprised than she was previously -- she laughs at the thought. Jean tries to defend it by saying it's very special. "Why?" she asks loudly. She's starting to get TOO loud. Gary says he's hungry. He's always hungry, she tells him. She's beginning to look out of control. She wants to make an evening of it, she says and sweeps her arm out and knocks over the champagne and bucket. She tells Gary to pick it up and order a few more.
That night in bed Lionel is trying to sleep. The room is dark. "You said she was drab," Jean says -- as though she hasn't had enough time between here and there to discuss it. She turns the light on. "She was," he insists. And he said her clothes hung on her. Lionel says she's not the same woman. She wonders if he means that she's someone impersonating his ex-wife. Lionel knows he's not going to get some sleep -- not right now. He sits up. She's done something to herself, he tells her. 
"From your description she's had a complete body transplant," Jean says. It's some sort of an impossible metamorphosis. He tells her that if Margaret looked like Miss World he'd have told her -- or else he'd have looked like a complete fool when she walked in that night. She supposes he has a point. She can't seem to get it into her head that she was plain at one time. He tells her that she could really knock it back. When he lived with her she could make one glass of white wine last all evening. Jean thinks she had two or three bottles all to herself. She was very glamorous until she started weaving about. He says that's thanks to her husband's millions. They wonder what he did for a living. Jean thinks she said he was in feeds. Lionel thinks she said peas. He still appears to be shell-shocked. That's not the woman I married, he says -- whizzing around the world, dripping with diamonds. He looks at Jean and says that she hasn't mentioned Gary. Jean says she was being discreet. "She wasn't," laughs Lionel. They were rather tactile, Jean thinks. He's a toy boy, they agree. He muses that couldn't do that for a living. Lionel still doesn't understand why she wanted to see him. It was all sort of pointless, he felt. Just before they go to sleep she tells him that if he found a really old woman he could be a senior toy boy.
Sandy is having a bath and while she's in there, 
Judith comes into the living room to have a word with Jean about the situation with Alistair. She says that it seems to bother Jean that the three of them are knocking about together. She wants to set the record straight. Jean denies that it bothers her, but Judith insists on explaining. She's trying, as discreetly as she can, to push Alistair in Sandy's direction. Once you get past his ego, she thinks he's not a bad chap. She leaves as Lionel comes in with the egg whisk. He broke it because he went into the drawer to get a spoon, it fell on the floor and he stepped on it. 
She tells him what Judy told her about Alistair. As they talk about it Sandy runs into the room and tells her that she knows that they're confused about the threesome. She says she knows that Judith and Alistair were made for one another and Judy won't go out with him on her own so she's going along to push her in that direction. She rushes out so she won't cross paths with Judith, but tells them not to say anything about what she just said. "Of course not," promises Jean. Sandy leaves. Jean says that at least that's cleared up -- as far as they're concerned. But as for the three of them -- what a muddle! She tells Lionel not to laugh -- they're young. He says he's not thinking about Judith and Sandy -- it's Alistair who doesn't know whether he's coming or going. Jean says it almost makes one feel sorry for Alistair, doesn't it? "Almost," grins Lionel.
Lionel opens the door for Alistair. The girls are not ready yet. One of them shouts out that they'll be down in a moment. Alistair tells them to "be beautiful for me." Alistair looks at Lionel and tells him that if he didn't know him better, he'd say that he was smirking. 
. He grins and asks Alistair what the opposite of "tug of war" is. 
Near as Alistair can get it's "push of peace." Alistair says that the night before everyone was jealous when he walked in with two beautiful women on his arms. Between the two of them it makes a guy feel as though he's in control of his life. Lionel is grinning from ear to ear. Alistair just can't figure it out. The girls come downstair to an enthusiastic "hey hey."
Jean and Lionel are left alone. Lionel is sitting in his chair trying to repair the whisk. As soon as he gets one bit in another one pops out. Jean tells him it's a bit like life in that respect. A somber thought, he tells her. He's getting frustrated. It happens again. Jean tells him that he doesn't have to mend it. He considers it a challenge now. She reminds him that he said that same thing just before he broke the curtain pole. He tells her that it seems to have a mind of its own. Perhaps, Jean suggests, it is saying that it doesn't like being trodden on. The doorbell rings and Lionel goes to answer it, Jean says "heads or tails." Lionel picks tails. "You go," she tells him. He mentions to her that he thought you were supposed to toss a coin. Only in the fair version, she says. He does go, leaving Jean looking at the whisk.
It's Margaret. She should have telephoned, she says and hopes it isn't a bad time. Jean tells her that they were just wrestling with an egg whisk. 
Jean asks her if she'd like a drink, but Margaret laughs sheepishly and says "not tonight, no." She's leaving town the next day because Gary's tan is fading, so she's come to say goodbye. Lionel mentions that he thought that's what they said the night before. She doesn't remember the last half of the night before. She's also come to apologize. It turns out that she's not apologizing for being drunk, though -- she enjoys that. She's apologizing for her reasons for coming to see Lionel in the first place. 
He tells her that it was a bit of a shock. It was intended to be. He doesn't understand that, although Jean does. She wanted to show off for Lionel -- to show him that she was no longer the dull, boring wife that he remembered. Jean tells her that Gary was the dud ammunition for the job. Lionel wouldn't call wealth dud ammunition. Either would she -- it could be quite powerful when it's aimed at the right target. But Jean and Lionel were not the right targets. Jean tells her that she'll take some of her jewelry if it would make her feel better. Margaret laughs. She doesn't want to feel better -- she likes her life. She tells Lionel that she never told him that she found him to be as boring as he found her. Jean says that he does more exciting things than mend egg whisks. 
Margaret says that when she finally surfaced this morning she realized that none of it really matters. She sighs, gets up and says she has places to go. She shakes Lionel's hand and says that she doesn't expect that they'll be meeting again. Margaret walks over to Jean and says that she wants to ask her a question before she leaves -- it's about that little film he's written. She remembers that it's a love story. "Just fiction," Lionel says. "Of course," Margaret says knowingly. "But you were the girl in it," she says to Jean. Jean tells her that yes, she was the girl. "She still is," Lionel says. "Always was, I suppose," says Margaret and she turns to leave. Jean and Lionel look at each other lovingly and follow her to the front door.