Harry and Sandy are hustled into the kitchen by Jean. She closes the door. Harry wants to know what's going on. She tells them that Lionel has someone with him and Harry asks why, then, is she in the kitchen with them. Jean tells him that Lionel may not want her in the other room because the person that he's with is from Kenya and says that Lionel is his father. Sandy is shocked because she remembers that Lionel and Margaret supposedly did not have any children. Harry asks where this bloke has been. Jean informs them that to start with, he's black. And that the marriage was a pretty loveless one. "So Lionel played away from home?" Harry concludes. Jean agrees that this is what she thinks happened. When asked what Lionel says, Jean says that when she last saw them they fell into each other's arms, so she left them alone to talk. Sandy points that that's not like her. Jean agrees, but says she was in a state of shock. Harry says that there's one way to find out. "Criminal records?" Jean asks. No, he tells her to go into the other room and ask. She says she can't just do that, but the others feel that if she just goes in, it will come up in the conversation. She asks Harry if he can arrest someone for claiming to be someone's son. He doesn't think so. It takes a couple of tries before she can work up the courage to leave for the other room, but she takes in a big breath and heads for the living room.

Lionel and Patrick are in the middle of a conversation when Jean walks in. Lionel asks where she's been -- she just shoveled Patrick in and then left the room. She says that she just thought that they would like a cup of tea and then she decided that they didn't, so she didn't make one. Lionel introduces them and says that he told Jean about him. "No," she says, with certaintly. She sits down on the couch next to him and begins with some small talk. "All the way from Kenya....." He agrees. She tells him that Lionel was in Kenya and then realizes he probably already knew that. Patrick says that he must write to his brothers and sisters and tell them that Lionel got married again. Jean appears to be shocked. He tells her that he has three brothers and two sisters and she tells him that that's quite a family. He says that it wouldn't have been if it were not for Lionel. Jean looks to Lionel. He says that he had told her about the family but she disagrees. He says he knows that he wouldn't have gone on about it because it would have been like blowing his own trumpet. He says what he had was the time and the money to do it. Jean, again shocked, wants to know what Margaret said. He supposes that she said "oh, just get on with it!" Patrick remembers that she was not the most understanding person.

Jean's had enough and she gets up. Look, Patrick. He looks at her. Look, Lionel. He looks at her. She says that when she answered the door Patrick said Lionel was his father. Finally, Lionel figures out what's wrong. "We all called Lionel "father", Patrick tells her. Jeans asks what his mother said and Patrick says that she called him "father" as well. Jean is disbelieving. Lionel informs her that "her husband didn't call me father." Her husband, Joseph, worked on the coffee plantation. Patrick explains that when he died the family had very little money and it would have been nearly impossible for her to raise her family all by herself and Lionel helped them in so many ways. They all got a good schooling and Lionel became like a father to the family and that's why they called him father. Jean suddenly looks very proud of Lionel. Once again, Lionel repeats that he's sure that he told Jean all about this. She smiles and tells him that she remembers now. She turns to Patrick with a big, relieved, happy smile and tells him how good it is to meet him. Lionel tells her that Patrick has now come to England to start work in a teaching hospital. Patrick says that his dream is to one day be a surgeon. Jean is really elated. She jumps up and excuses herself for a tick and shouts out to Harry and Sandy to "come and meet Patrick." When she's gone, Patrick tells Lionel that Jean is a very warm lady.

Jean and Lionel are in the kitchen, he is setting the table and she's busy at the stove, cooking. She lets him know that he never did tell her about Patrick and his family. And they promised that they were never to have any secrets from one another. He doesn't remember that either. She wants to know if there is anything else he's forgotten to tell her and he says that he once went skinny dipping. It was at somebody's birthday at somebody's farm. Some of the wives got a bit frisky with the punch and decided to go skinny dipping. Jean figures he went in after them, but he says that he fell in. Jean thinks that it is all the same thing, but he says it is different because he had all his clothes on. She wants to know what Margaret had to say about that. Lionel says she didn't say much because she passed out on the sun lounger. Jean asks why she was never told about the wild parties and Lionel admits that there never were any. Everyone lived long distances away from the others and when they did get together all they ever did was play cards. She thinks they played strip poker, but Lionel assures her it was bridge. He tells her that he is glad she invited Patrick to come for lunch and she says that young doctors never eat enough. He supposes that, having been a nurse she knows all sorts of things about young doctors. She tells him to stop talking and returns to the subject of Patrick. She thinks it was a wonderful thing, what he did for the family and Lionel says that he needed at least one thing to bring to the pearly gates with him. He imagines it was quite a shock for Patrick to appear at the door saying that Lionel was his father. She says she knew that he didn't mean it literally. He asks how she knew that. She just knew that there would be an obvious explanation. He could have sworn he told her. She tells him that in any case it came up quite naturally in the conversation as she knew it would. Lionel tells her that she looked very green about the gills until it did. She tells him not to be ridiculous and then rushes out of the kitchen saying that she wonders whether anyone fancies a drink.

Alistair comes out of a Victoria Secret type shop carrying two bags and thanking the people inside for the very instructive visit. As he passes a very judgmental, straight looking couple they turn and stare at him. He turns back and says "yes?" His telephone rings. "LTNS" he says to the caller. He explains that it means "long time no see". It turns out to be Stephen, who is asking him for help, which he tells him is his middle name. Alistair says he'll be at Lionel and Jean's that afternoon and he will see him later. He turns in the other direction and passes the straight couple once again and once again they give him the eye and once again he says "yes?"

Lionel says that those two, obviouslly meaning Stephen and Penny, keep turning up like bad pennies. Jean reminds him that they did phone in advance. Lionel says the hours' warning was typical of them. He asks what Jean is doing and she says she's looking for something. She's rummaging through the storage area under the stairs. It turns out that she is looking for a hamper to pack with food for Patrick because the young doctors don't eat enough. Lionel asks Patrick if he wants a hamper and food and Patrick says no because he's just finished a nice lunch. Jean asks about his digs and wants to know if he eats properly there. He tells her that he's sure he will. Jean asks if his place is squalid. He tells her he has a very nice place, but that he has to put up with sharing it with three girls, but he copes.

The doorbell rings and Sandy goes to answer it. It is Penny and Stephen. Penny says if anyone mentions map-reading to her she will scream. Stephen greets Sandy with a kiss and tells her that he's heard she was having a baby. He tells her that she looks pretty and asks Penny if she thinks Sandy looks pretty. Penny tells her she'll never get her figure back. She sees Lionel fussing in the storage area and asks what he's doing. He says he is "mining." Penny sees Patrick and asks "who's this?" Jean, much too happily, says that it is Lionel's son, Patrick. Penny looks as though she were struck by lightning and nearly collapses against the wall.

In the kitchen Sandy and Jean are cleaning up after lunch. Sandy wonders why Patrick had to leave so early and Jean explains that five minutes of listening to Penny talk is usually sufficient. Harry walks in saying "God, that woman can talk." Sandy ask if she told him he'd lose his figure. He says no, but that she still "insists I'm a mountie." Judy shouts to her mother from another room and then enters the kitchen. She wants to know why everyone is in the kitchen and Jean tells her it is because Penny is out in the living room. Lionel joins the party, announcing that there is a lack of moral fibre in the house. Jean asks why he's in the kitchen and he tells her he, too, has a lack of moral fibre. He closes the door and asks what Judith is doing there and she says she's meeting Alistair. He says that his is the house for meetings. Harry has to leave. He has to look for estate agents because they have to find a place to live. Jean asks if they'll look close by. He tells her he'll look, but he didn't think he'd find anything in Holland Park on a detective sergeant's salary. Sandy offers to come with him, but he suggests she wait until they have several prospects -- and, besides, she's got family to talk to. Sandy says -- referring to Penny and Stephen -- that they are not her family and Lionel says she should be grateful for that.

On her way out Sandy suggests that they can look at Balham. Jean is incredulous, but Judy tells her it is not Siberia and wants to know why that can't just stay with her and Lionel. Lionel shrugs.

As Sandy opens the door to let Harry out, Alistair walks in with his two bags from the lingerie store. He puts them on the floor. Sandy and Harry embrace and Harry walks out. Alistair wants to know if he can have one since she appears to be in a hugging mood, but she tells him that her hugs are reserved these days. He supposes, correctly, that there is no chance of making a reservation. Sandy walks thru and notices Alistair's two bags on the floor.

Penny wonders how Patrick will survive in England since the supermarkets don't sell cow's blood. Stephen asks what he would want with cow's blood and she answers that that is what indiginous Kenyan people live on. He says she is thinking of the Masai and Patrick is Kikuyu. She asks how he could possibly know that. Stephen tells he that Patrick told him. Alistair joins them in the living room and Penny says that he shouldn't listen to Stephen who has an inane idea. Alistair says that all Stephen said was "hello." She repeats herself as Jean and Lionel come in with the coffee "Stephen has this inane idea." Jean says "how nice." Lionel appears eager to hear the idea and, when Penny tells him not to listen, says that he is not going to just sit there with his hands over his ears. Alistair encourages him to speak by telling him that great ideas are like bats -- they deserve to see the light of day. Stephen remembers that bats are nocturnal.

He reminds them that he is now retired from dentistry -- teeth lose their appeal after 30 years -- and now he is looking for something else to do. Alistair likes it and asks if Stephen has anything in mind. He has decided that he is trying to become a celebrity. They look suprised. Lionel asks what kind of celebrity he wants to be and he says it would be a sort of general celebrity. Penny reiterates that it was an inane idea. Jean says that she doesn't think he qualifies, but Stephen responds by saying that there are no exams to pass or anything and that you just become one. He sees lots of celebrities on television, but he doesn't know what half of them do. What does that Tara Para Whatsername actually do? he want to know. Alistair observes that she is a big celeb. Penny is beginning to expect that Stephen is losing his reason. Stephen announces that that's why he wanted to talk with Alistair -- he knows all these things and could help him. Lionel says that he, too, would like to know that. Alistair thinks that it helps to be good at something. Jean asks if dentistry counts. "Perhaps you could be dentist to the stars," he suggests. Stephen says that he once did a filling for someone who was in an ice show. Big name? Alistair asks. "Played a cat," Stephen tells him. Alistair doesn't think that's good enough. Then there was Laurence Olivier, Stephen says. "You did Larry's teeth?" Stephen was just mentioning that he played a dentist in that film with the other chap. Jean tells him that he's losing the thread and Lionel thinks that's for the best. Penny changes the subject and asks Jean if she thinks that being a grandmother will age her terribly. Jean changes the subject back and asks if there's anything else.

Alistair says that he needs good PR and he should get in the red-tops. He should be seen in all the right places with all the right eye candy on his arm. Stephen doesn't appear to understand. Lionel explains that Alistair is referring to girls. Jean wants to know how he knows that. Alistair explains that he is not referring to just any girls, but models and he asks if he knows any models. Penny answers of course not, for him, but he says that one of his ex-patients was a model -- she used to model woollens for Woman's World. Jean doesn't think that's the kind of modeling Alistair meant. Alistair says that the bottom line is that what he needs to do is get himself noticed. When he asks "How?" Lionel tells him to streak at the trooping of the color -- clearly he is amused by this suggestion, but Stephen won't consider that because it's too disrespectful. ...or the last night at the prom, Jean offers. Penny tells them both to stop it. She thinks they are as ridiculous as Stephen and Jean apologizes and says they shouldn't laugh. Stephen tells her that, to be honest, he thought they might laugh. He recalls that no-one laughed when Lionel became a celebrity and Jean asks "when was that?" Stephen says it was when Lionel wrote the book. Lionel says that he was a minor author and he doesn't remember reading in the press any photos of himself streaming into any night clubs with any arm candy.

Stephen comes up with another idea. Chefs. Everyone knows who Gordon Whatisname is, he says. Penny reminds him that he can't boil an egg. He tells his wife that it was just an idea and admits that he's floundering. Alistair lays it on the line to Stephen "You and celebrity are not two words that exactly go together." Stephen says he sees. Lionel wonders what made him think of this idea in the first place. Penny answers for him. "Drugs." Jean questions this and Penny explains that he had too much brandy the night before and then took two aspirin. Jean doesn't think that would cause hallucinations. Stephen tells her that he slept like a log. He reflects that that's what it was at the end of the day -- just a silly dream. Lionel asks "why have it?" Sadly, Stephen tells him that it would have been nice, just once in his life, to be noticed. He remembers that once he took home a school photograph and his parents couldn't even pick him out. Lionel double-checks to make sure Stephen was in it. Stephen confirms that he was, but the funny thing was that he couldn't pick himself out either. Penny calls him a foolish man.

Judy comes into the kitchen where Sandy is cleaning up the dishes. She tells her that she was right, that there are two bags. Judy says that she can tell Sandy and Sandy says she doesn't have to, but doesn't really discourage her. She and Alistair want to have a baby. Sandy reassures her and tells her that they will have the baby, but that it requires some patience. Alistair's strong suit is not patience. She thinks that the next thing Alistair will suggest is scenery and a full orchestra. She'd be more relaxed driving in the Grand Prix. Judy asks if Harry.... Sandy interrupts "There was the dance of the seven veils in Canada." So you did the dance of the seven veils? Sandy corrects her, "no Harry did." And you fell into each others arms and so on and so forth? Sandy says yes. Judith thinks that perhaps she should get a clown's outfit. She says she didn't mean to embarrass Sandy. Sandy tells her that she wasn't embarrassed and that she thinks Alistair is being a bit silly. Her opinion is that Judy should just chuck it all away. Judy has a better idea. They run down the front stairs with Alistair's bags just as Penny and Stephen are about to leave. They call out to him and hand Stephen the bags, saying that they are a present from Alistair. He wants to go back upstairs to thank him, but Judith tells him that it would only embarrass Alistair because he's quite shy. Stephen observes that people are not always as they seem. Penny shouts out to Stephen to get into the car and he hands her the bags through the open window saying that they are a present from Alistair. They drive away as Sandy and Judith watch. Judith says she now feels badly, but quickly changes her mind as Sandy shows no remorse.

Lionel is at the bar making drinks for himself and Alistair. Jean says it seems a bit early, but he quickly convinces her that it is appropriate after Penny and Stephen visit. Alistair appears to be a bit down and when Jean questions him, he tells her that he feels as though he let himself down and that he wasn't very much help to Stephen. She points out that there are times when no-one can be a help to Stephen. They are amused by his desire for celebrity. Lionel thinks that he'll be wanting to be a pop star next. It would have been a real challenge. Alistair checks the time and says he has a meeting with a tax inspector. Jean asks if he's in trouble, but he is not -- he's going to publish a book that the inspector has written about tax fraud. He finds that to be a challenge. Alistair leaves the room, but hurries back and asks if anyone has seen the two bags that he left at the front door. Jean wants to know what kind of bags. He says they were nothing special -- just bits and bobs. Judy walks into the room and he asks her the same question. She tells him that she did not see the bags and when he leaves the room, she has a big grin on her face.

The scene shifts to the road down which Stephen is traveling. Inside the car, we see Penny looks into the back seat. She brings the bags to the front of the car, spreads it open and looks inside. We follow the car once again as it moves down the road. Suddenly there is an ear-piercing scream, which is followed by the sight of two bags being thrown out the window.

Jean and Lionel are in bed and he appears to be ready to read and she is applying hand lotion. He tells her he won't read if she wants to talk, but she says no. And then talks. Poor Sandy. Poor Harry. Poor Harry and Sandy. Finally he stops what he's doing and asks "why?" She knows that they can't afford to buy a house near them. Lionel agrees. He doesn't think that they can afford to buy even a garden shed near them. "Not that they need to move anywhere," she says. And says again to provoke a reaction from Lionel who appears to have ignored her. He tells her that they do need to move. She tells him that they could make a sitting room for them of Judy's old room and then begins to outline a plan that shows she has been thinking about this for quite a while. Lionel sarcastically suggests they go the whole hog and put another story on the house. Jean doesn't find it a constructive idea. He tries to talk some sense into her by telling her that Harry and Sandy do not want to live with them. "They are a young couple with a baby on the way." She supposes he's right and tells him not to preen. He denies preening and says he's going to sleep and that one can't preen in one's sleep, but she reminds him that the first night that they slept together he had a very smug expression on his face. He tells her that was a different thing and that he "just climbed the mountain." She doesn't like the reference and he tells her that he didn't mean that. She says each word distinctly "BE VERR-Y CAREFUL." He rethinks it. "I just spent the night with a beautiful girl," he says. She thinks that's much better. She confirms that they will help them financially and he agrees, saying that that's much better than knocking down walls all over the place. She says that Sandy will be coming back to work and that she'll give her a big bonus. Lionel says that she won't be back for very long because of the baby -- unless she takes the baby to work. She'll give her a leaving bonus and a baby bonus as well. Lionel tells her that she can't give a bonus to a baby and that the baby would probably just eat the check. She says he made his point. She feels that either way will help and Lionel adds "unless they see it as charity." Jean doesn't understand how a gift can be seen as charity. She'll have to think about that one. Lionel turns off the light. He's tired and decided to go to sleep instead of read. Jean, too, is tired. The room is dark. She says that she wasn't beautiful. He says she was. She says she wasn't. He tells her to stop fishing for compliments and go to bed. She calls him a "swine". They roll towards one another and hug. She says "goodnight" and they roll away from one another. "How beautiful?" she asks. "Goodnight," he answers.

Jean is in the kitchen, stacking the dishwasher when Sandy comes in. Lionel told her that Jean wanted a word with her. She is surprised that Jean is doing this because it was kinds of Lionel's job. Jean acknowledges this, and finally gives up doing it when she sees that the door won't close. She blames Lionel. Sandy asks what it was that Jean wants to talk to her about and Jean says that it is about coming back to work. She knows that Judy was doing it while Sandy was away, but her heart wasn't in it. Sandy says that her heart is no longer in it either. Now she has Harry, who works all those odd hours and she thinks it is not something she wants to do to look after him and be a career-woman. Jean accuses her of being old-fashioned. And then she mentions the baby. Jean says that she will give her a baby bonus. Sandy says that she knows Jean is trying to be kind, but that that is a bit like charity. She tells her that that is what Lionel said and accuses her of having a stubborn streak to which Sandy replies "look who's talking." Lionel walks in and looks at the dishwasher, saying that there's a first time for everything. Jean says she couldn't get the door closed. He says he's not talking about that -- he's just had an abusive phone call. Jean supposes it was anonymous, but Lionel tells her that it was from Penny. He looks at the dishwasher and tells Jean that she tried to jam too much into there. Sandy backs out of the room, realizing what's going on with Penny. Jean asks what Penny has to abuse him about and he concedes that perhaps "abuse" might be too strong a word. He feels that "rant" would be better. She wants to know what it is about and he tells her that that is the puzzling bit. Penny said it was about two shopping bags filled with "sexual depravity." According to Penny, Stephen claims that they were a present from Alistair. Jean thinks that's absurd. Suddenly Jean remembers that Alistair said he had left two bags in the hall. Lionel remembers. He wonders how the bags ended up with Penny and Stephen. And Jean wonders where Sandy went.

Jean is suddenly mom and the two girls are suddenly teenagers as Jean tries to talk some sense into them. She is telling them what a terrible thing they did by giving those things to Penny and everyone, including Lionel is trying to keep a straight face. She asks if they could imagine Penny's face when she opened the bag and, since each one can, each one has a hard time from breaking into side-splitting laughter, including her. She thinks it really must have been "a picture." Judy and Sandy joke about how puzzled Stephen might be. Judy thinks that "Aunt Pen might be dressed as a fantasy nurse by now...." Alistair walks into the living room and closes his cell phone. He tells her that he just squared it with Steve and Pan and told him that it was all a big mistake. Judy says she seconds that. Alistair tells her that her message was received and understood. Then, he tells them, he really papered over the cracks by getting Stephen and Penny tickets for the hottest film premiere that evening. Judith reminds Alistair that he doesn't have the tickets, but he assures her that it will just take a phone call. She asks if they've seen the last of the stuff in the bags. Lionel says, "Well, they're not keeping them, are they?" Alistair tells them that as far as he knows they are scattered all over the highways of Hampshire by now. Sandy wonders if it will be on the news. He doesn't think so, but that night he will be on the red carpet mingling with the stars. Jean is glad that at least he will be a celebrity for one night. Alistair recalls Bertrand Russell's saying that everyone will be famous for at least 15 minutes. Jean corrects him and says it was Andy Warhol who actually said that. He wants to know what it was that Bertrand Russell said. Lionel informs him that Bertrand Russell said "quite a lot." He suggests that they have a drink down the road and everyone gets up. Apparently he was referring only to Jean, but they're all going. As Jean passes Judy she asks her what she knows about fantasy nurses. Judy tells her she knows quote a lot -- her mother was one.

They're all at the pub and the drinks have been distributed and the last one is an orange juice for Sandy, the little mother. Alistair asks Lionel if he wants to play a game of darts and Lionel tells them that it is like being out with a hyperactive child. Jean encourages them to play. All he fancied was a little drink. Alistair asks what he wants to play -- what format -- and Alistair tells him "ten thousand and one." Lionel feels it would take several days. Jean raises her glass "to Judy" and Judy asks why. Jean tells her that she and Sandy had a chat earlier in the day and that Sandy decided not to come back to the agency. She accepts that decision, but thinks that she's being stubborn. Now she is asking Judy to come back to the agency permanently. Judy tells her mother she is leaving and Jean tells her that just because Sandy isn't coming back doesn't mean that she is second choice. Judy thinks for a second and says that actually it does mean that, but clearly that is not the reason she's leaving. She tells her that she doesn't fancy working any more. She doesn't have to. Jean tells her that she worked all this time and Judy says that before Lionel came on the scene she was turning into a real ratbag. Sandy reminds her of how they called her "Old Irondrawers." There is a bang. Alistair hit the lampshade. Alistair says it was an act of desperation because Lionel was winning. Lionel claims it was only because he hit the dartboard on occasion. On their way back Alistair suggests they shoot some pool. Lionel says "Let's not." Jean tells them that Judy doesn't want to come back to the agency. Lionel says nothing in response and she asks if that is all he has to say. Lionel says "Hey Hey." He tells her that leaves more time for himself, more time to work on Little Alistair. She wishes he wouldn't use expressions like "work on". He changes the words -- "apply ourselves to". Harry walks in and they're surprised he found them, but he chalks it up to good detective work. He read the note on the door which said that they'd all gone for a drink. He said it was the kind of note which he would professionally, advise against leaving on a door. Lionel asks if he removed it, but Harry didn't think of that. They all get up to go home and Alistair asks if they should be mob-handed. Lionel says "not unless there's a queue of burglars at the door.

Lionel walks into the living room with his newspaper and a snack. He is just about to put the food into his mouth when the doorbell rings. "For Goodness sake," he says as he gets up to answer the door. He's surprised to see Mrs. Bale on the other side. She hands him a bag of eggs, for which he thanks her and tells him that there are light snow showers in the English Channel. He doesn't very much care, but he keeps it to himself. He asks her to go thru into the living room. She asks if everyone is well and he tells her yes. He offers her ome tea and she tells him she shared a thermos at a lay-by with some very charming Hell's Angels on the way up. Charming? he repeats, questioning her choice of words.

She doesn't understand why "we" bikers get such a bad name, but she places the blame on Marlon Brando. He tells her that it is very nice to see her, but that surely she didn't come all this way to bring them some eggs. She confirms that the eggs were an afterthought. She came into London to drop Mr. Hardcastle Sr. off. Where? he asks. She answers that she brought him to his line-dancing class. Apparently, she says, his teacher thinks that he's a natural. Lionel looks somewhat puzzled and Mrs. Bale asks whether or not he approves. He confirms that he disapproves and she tells him that Rocky thought he would disapprove. Well...a man of his age, line-dancing. Mrs. Bale asks what he thinks a man of his age should be doing. "Acting it," he says. Mrs. Bale informs him that Rocky said he'd say that, too. They both agree on how predictable Lionel is. Jean comes into the living room and is surprised to see Mrs. Bale. When Jean tells her she looks well in her leathers she says the chapter in the lay-buy said she looked foxy. Jean doesn't understand and looks to Lionel, who says that she had tea with the Hell's Angels. She asks where Rocky is and Lionel says that he's line-dancing. Lionel shakes his head.

Mrs. Bale tells Jean that she's picking him up later and informs her that Lionel doesn't approve. Jean answers that Lionel wouldn't approve. She asks if Lionel has offered her something to drink and Mrs. Bale answers yes. She asks about something to eat and Mrs. Bale gets up as though she were going to make something for them, but Jean corrects her and says she wants to know if they can get her something to eat. She declines but asks if she could change into something less squeaky before she goes. Jean tells her to use their bedroom. When she leaves, Jean says that she's a treasure. And Lionel informs her that she is as mad as his father. Mrs. Bale pops back into the room and tells them she heard that. "Well, she is," he repeats.

Jean wants to know what is the matter with him and he tells her that all he wants is a little peace and quiet. Jean asks if he means just him and his custard tarts. "In they come, one after the other and they all bring their lunacy with them," he tells her. He tells her it would really be nice if just once someone came in and had a normal conversation and just went home again. The doorbell rings. "See?" Lionel says. As she goes to answer the doorbell she tells him that maybe he'd like to go hide under the cupboard. He sarcastically tells her that he would, if he could.

It is Penny and Stephen and Penny is annoyed that they are in London two hours early for the premiere thanks to Stephen. He just wanted to be on the safe side. She knows that Jean won't mind their waiting at her home. She says they're delighted, "aren't we, Lionel?" Lionel nods in agreement.

Sandy walks into the living room where Harry is watching a rugby match. She tells him that Lionel is in the kitchen making hot chili. She tells him she's chilly and sits next to him on the couch and falls into his lap. He says "beautiful" and she see that he's watching the game. She asks if he's watching it and he says no at first and then changes his answer. He shuts off the television and tells her it was only a replay anyway. She says she'll never take precedence over a live international.

He says she will, provided it is not England playing. Sandy asks him if he knows Jean doesn't want them to move. He tells her he'd never have guessed. She thinks it will seem funny and he asks if that's a "but." She claims it isn't and that she just wants her and Harry and Little Harry (as Alistair would call it.) Jean enters the living room and says she's been sacked as the sous-chef. She wonders why Lionel gets so tempramental when he's cooking chili. Sandy suggests it might be because he has Mexican blood in him. She says his name with a pronounced accent -- Lionel kChose kChardcastle.

She offers them drinks and they say no -- Sandy will burst if she has another orange juice. Jean deserves a drink, she thinks. Lionel comes in wanting a drink. She offers him tequila. When he asks why tequila, she tells him it's a little joke. She asks about the chili and he tells her it is nearing perfection. He confirms that it is just the four of them for dinner -- he wants to make sure that they won't be invaded again.

She tells him that Rocky is line dancing, Penny and Stephen have gone to the premiere and Judy and Alistair have gone home, so unless the Vikings invade them again, they are safe.

Sandy says that they went back to Alistair's flat that afternoon. Harry corrects her and says it is an apartment. They had a flat in Canada and the whole place would fit in their bathroom. Jean tells them that Lionel was talking about making Judy's room into a sitting room for them. Lionel can't help but look surprised. Jean says it only needs a little knocking through, but Sandy sits up and tells them there needs to be no knocking because they are moving. Jean knows they will move eventually. They explain that he will be going to the WA division and they help with police housing -- nothing very grand, but it's a start. "And that's all we need," Sandy explains.

Lionel says that that is good news, but Jean doesn't see it as such. She asks where they will be living. "Battersea," Sandy tells her. Battersea! Jean repeats. Lionel says she's doing it again -- making everywhere beyond Holland Park seem like Siberia. Harry tells her there are worse places than that and Jean asks if that murderer came from Battersea. She can't remember which murderer, when asked. She realizes that she's being silly and that they won't be that far away. Harry says they will be a sledge ride away Lionel looks at his watch and announces that dinner, as Mrs. Bale would say, will be served in 9 and three-quarter minutes. The telephone rings. Jean gets up to answer it and tells everyone not to panic. She says that if it is someone wanting to pop over she will say that they've emigrated. The phone call is from Patrick at the hospital and she says that they will be there immediately. She hangs up and tells everyone that Rocky has been admitted to A & E.

Mrs. Bale walks into the emergency room with a blanket, but Rocky who is seated in a wheelchair insists that his legs are no colder than the rest of him and he does not want to be covered because it feels like a greenhouse in there. Mrs. Bale thinks that there must be something she can do. He tells her to just stop fussing. He wouldn't say no to a stiff gin and tonic. Mrs. Bale tells him that he is to take nothing by mouth. They can pour it into his ear, he says. Patrick walks up to Rocky and tells him that Alistair called on the mobile and said they'd be there shortly. Rocky tells Mrs. Bale to remind him to get a mobile. She actually reminds him that he once had a mobile and he asks her what he did with it. She tells him he lost his temper and threw it in the rain water butt. The nurse passed by coughed as she neared Patrick. Rocky tells her she has a nasty cough. Patrick explains that she coughed in order to tell him that he needs to be somewhere else. Rocky says he should ignore her, but he says that the last student doctor who did that is still in traction. Rocky tells Patrick to go to where he needs to be and Patrick says it is the mortuary. Rocky hopes that they don't meet up there later. Patrick leaves. Mrs. Bale tells Rocky that she wishes he wouldn't say things like that. He observes that Patrick laughed. It is hard for Rocky to imagine that Lionel looked after that whole family in Kenya and never said anything. If you ask Rocky, Lionel's a classic philanthropist. Mrs. Bale tells him that she hopes there wasn't any confusion over Patrick's calling Lionel father. Rocky says there probably wasn't because Jean is a very level-headed girl.

Lionel and Jean come up to them and Lionel asks what he's been up to now? Rocky says that was a warm greeting and gives Jean a big big kiss and she asks what he's been up to. He observes that this sounds a lot better coming from her. Lionel, exasperated, asks him to just answer the question. He tells him there's no need to shout and the same nurse passes and tells them to shhhush. Harry and Sandy arrive and she asks what he's been up to. He thinks that Sandy is a sight to gladden the old eyes and he remembers that Harry was off to be a mountie the last time he saw him. Harry assures him that it was a temporary assignment.

Alistair and Judith arrive and he's annoyed because he couldn't find a place to park. Rocky is sure that things are glamming up around there. Judy asks what he's been up to and Lionel mentions that he's been trying to find that out for the last ten minutes. Mrs. Bale informs them that he was knocked over. "By a car?" Jean asks. Line dancing, Mrs. Bale tells them. The same nasty nurse is asking them all to move over because they are blocking the access and she tells them to keep the noise down.

Jean asks Rocky to tell them what happened. He says that the whole class was going swimmingly at first. And then they got into the step-step-touch the heel bit or was it the touch the heel-step-step. Lionel asks if it matters and Rocky tells him that it matters a great deal because you've got to get it right. He continues the story. He somehow cannoned into this rather large lady who was wearing cowboy boots and shot across the floor like a curling stone.

"What's the verdict?" Lionel asks him. Rocky answers that he thinks it is his fault. Lionel says he meant there, at the hospital. Rocky doesn't know, but "ligaments were mentioned." He is waiting for an Xray. Mrs. Bale tells them that nothing is happening. Judith looks at Alistair who begins to take charge. He shouts out that he needs a word and he doesn't want to hear "I'm busy." Sandy says that you have to hand it to Alistair. "Not all the time," Harry answers, because he thinks that Alistair is talking to a porter. Lionel walks to the information area and knocks on the door but there is no response. He goes to the window, knocks on it and peeps in, but no-one is there. He concludes that there isn't any information. Alistair is back, annoyed that he was talking to a porter. The same nasty nurse comes up to the crowd, saying the name "Mr. Newcastle." She unlocks the wheelchair and wheels him away, saying that she's taking him to radiology. Everyone crowds around them and the nurse says that they will manage. She wants them to back off and get out of the way.

The woman who was in the information area walks out of the door and points to the sign that says ring, not "bang on the glass." She wants to know who wants her. No-one responds and she tells them to stop playing games. Mrs. Bale looks distraught and Jean tells her that Rocky is a tough old bird. Jean asks someone to get Mrs. Bale a cup of tea. Sandy tries to get something from the vending machine, but she lost her money in it and says it was inevitable. Judy points out that there is a "cafeteria" sign across the room and Lionel mutters that it is probably closed. Jean tells them to go and they'll wait. Judy asks if she can get them something and Lionel says "not unless they've got chili con carne." Information lady walks past them and says they'll be lucky -- hot's off.

Jean and Lionel are left to themselves in the waiting room. Jean says it was nice that everyone came. Suddenly they see a familiar figure: Stephen is being wheeled in, tuxedo and all. As he approaches he says "I know you two." The ask him what happened. He thinks it is his ribs. Lionel explains that he's asking what happened to bring him there in the first place. They never did get on the red carpet at the film premiere, so he decided to vault the barrier in order to talk to Renee Zellweger. Jean asks why he would do such a thing and Stephen tells her that he still hasn't gotten this celebrity thing out of his mind. He thought that if he could be photographed with Renee Zellweger that would be a start. Jeans asks what she said to him. Stephen admits that he never actually reached her because his vaulting isn't what it once was. He doesn't suppose that there's any chance of her popping 'round here. Lionel suggests he not hold his breath. Jean asks where Penny is and Stephen says that she's alright, she fainted for some reason. Just then Penny is wheeled into the hospital in a neck brace and calls him a fool of a man. As the two are taken away Stephen tells them that she hurt her neck when she fell.

Once again they are alone. Lionel turns to Jean and observes that it was nice that everyone came.